Skip to Content
Law and Order

The one where a Dollar General manager hit a thief in the head with an aluminum baseball bat

10:16 AM EDT on July 26, 2012

The guy in the image above is named Horatio Coates. If Horatio looks a little dazed and confused, well, he has good reason to be. Earlier this week, he was repeatedly struck upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat while attempting to steal DVDs from a Dollar General. The blows to the head were delivered by the store's manager, and fortunately for us, the whole ordeal was recorded during a 911 call.

You can listen to the audio in the News 9 clip below. It's worth it:


News9.com - Oklahoma City, OK - News, Weather, Video and Sports |

Well, if you've ever wondered what sound an aluminum baseball bat makes when hitting a man's head, I guess you know the answer!

I may be a tiny bit demented and everything , but that was hysterical. I loved the sound of the tiny little "ping" followed by the sudden "EEEEYAAAHHH!" The best part, though, was when the "alleged" burglar woke up and this exchange took place:

911 Dispatcher: "Is he still laying there?"

Badass Vigilante Store Manager: "He is still laying here."

Stupid Druggie Burglar: "I don't know what the hell is going on."

Badass Vigilante Store Manager: "He is saying he doesn't know what is going on."

Stupid Druggie Burglar:"Holy Shit!!! What the fuck! Oh, goodness!"

Once again, that's just funny. It's like watching the burglars get hurt in Home Alone, only it's real life. I also like how the robber's response to being beaten unconscious with a baseball bat is the same one I make when listening to Jim Traber. The only difference is the burglar was a little more composed.

Anyway, the morals to this story are simple. Don't use drugs, don't steal, and if you do use drugs and do steal, stay away from the Dollar General stores on the southside. They are very protective of their DVDs.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter

More from The Lost Ogle

OKC Media

Jason Hackett leaving KOCO Channel 5…

He's taking a job at KARE 11 in Minneapolis.

December 2, 2022
Everything Else

Top 10 TLO articles for November

We've somehow survived another month!

December 1, 2022
Everything Else

Ryan Walters’s new hair part goes super hard to the right…

An Ogle Mole spotted him out having a drink this past Monday afternoon.

December 1, 2022
Everything Else

Drew Stitt questioned by OSU police after trying to saw parking boot off pick-up truck…

He's been ticketed for 17 parking infractions this semester and has been labeled a "habitual" offender.

November 29, 2022
See all posts