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Exclusive: Mary Fallin’s middle name is…Newt?

The next time some liberal Monty Python fan gets all mad and calls Mary Fallin a witch, I guess you can't blame them. Hidden in this weird article about Mary Fallin's genealogy is a funny and bizarre little known fact: her middle name is Newt.

The 27th governor of Oklahoma is no longer known by her maiden name, but she still carries her father's moniker. Only those closest to her know that Mary Fallin's father, Newt, named his infant daughter Mary Newt Copeland. It was her great-grandfather's name too. Born in 1853, Thomas Newton Copeland and his bride, Fannie Mae Carr, left their home in Wayne County, Tennessee, with three small children in tow. After arriving in Indian Territory, a fourth child, Mary's grandfather Benton, was born. He was nearly five years old when Oklahoma became a state.

Are you f*ck&ing kidding me? Mary Fallin's middle name is Newt!? How are we just now learning this? This would be like discovering that Sally Kern's middle name is Santorum or that Frank Keating was raised in the wild by friendly snapping turtles. Okay, the turtle thing is a little extreme, but you get my point.

Seriously, you would think that at some point in Governor Fallin's career that a newspaper,  political rival or liberal message board would point out that Mary Fallin's shares her middle name with a hog-faced right-wing politician, slimy amphibian or ambiguous cookie treat. There has to be at least 100 jokes hidden in their somewhere, right?

All that being said, at least Governor Fallin seems to have a good sense of humor about the whole thing. From the same article:

Governor Fallin was named for her mother as well.  "My mom's name was Mary Jo, which is much better than Mary Newt," quipped the governor.  "Now you know why I use my maiden name instead of my middle name: Mary Copeland Fallin."

I can't wait to see if (and how) this news takes off. I bet the Governor's communication team issues a statement later today that Mary Fallin is proud of her middle name and it's connection to her family history. I also bet they start a movement to get the central newt to replace the bull frog as the state amphibian, and to do so in Governor Fallin's honor. Just kidding, we'll probably do that.

Also, a quick note to the person who edits the website. Before you start working on your resume and packing up all the stuff in your cubicle, you should probably edit that story. The sentence "Only those closest to her know that Mary Fallin's father, Newt, named his infant daughter Mary Newt Copeland" is now very inaccurate. Please correct it before you leave.

And I'm sorry. I couldn't resist the urge to post this video:

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