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Wanted: Photographs of Steven Seagal fleeing the Oklahoma Panhandle

The Guymon Daily Herald, Trudy Hart

The Guymon Daily Herald, Trudy Hart

Normally, asking for pictures of Steven Seagal fleeing the Oklahoma Panhandle may seem like an odd request. Then again, it's not everyday that two freight trains crash into each other in the Oklahoma Panhandle!

From NewsOK:

Three people were missing Sunday after two Union Pacific freight trains collided east of Goodwell in the Oklahoma Panhandle, authorities said.

Two engineers and one conductor were unaccounted for after the collision, Union Pacific Railroad spokeswoman Raquel Espinoza said.

The conductor of the westbound train jumped from the train before the crash, she said.

“He did not require any medical treatment, but is understandably pretty shaken up,” Espinoza said.

No names were released Sunday.

The collision occurred shortly after 10 a.m., about one mile east of Goodwell in Texas County, Oklahoma Highway Patrol spokeswoman Betsy Randolph said.

“I don't even know how to describe it. It's like nothing I've ever seen before. I've never seen anything of this magnitude,” she said.

A train carrying new automobiles was traveling west on the track and collided head-on with an eastbound train carrying a variety of cargo. One of the containers was carrying resin solution, which is a hazardous material, but did not catch fire. It was being doused with water to prevent fire or explosion, Espinoza said...

You know how has that "no commenting" policy on stories involving crime and death and all that other stuff?  Well, we have a very similar policy when it comes to writing about those stories. They are just awkward and sad and not very fun to write about. That's why we usually just skip those topics in favor of things like breasts, politics and sports.

But once again, it's not everyday that two freight trains crash into each other in the Oklahoma Panhandle! That's just bizarre! I'm not a conspiracy theorist or anything, but the only time I've heard of trains crashing into each other like that is when there's an evil villain and $10,000,000 worth of diamonds on board. Hell, one of the trains was even carrying a resin solution. We all know where resin comes from.

Anyway, our condolences go out to friends and families of the missing men. I guess you know it's your time to go when you not only die in a train crash, but in a train crash in the Oklahoma Panhandle. That's just depressing. The only thing found in the Oklahoma Panhandle are snakes, rocks and shameful despair. Coincidentally, those are the same three things found in Jim Traber's brain.

Also, kudos to the guy who jumped out of the train and saved his life. Now he'll have a nightmarish — but totally bitchin' — story to tell to his grandkids, neighbors and young people at bars. He should move to Hollywood to become a stuntman or make a cameo in Final Destination 8.

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