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A two-story McDonald’s is coming to Oklahoma City

6:26 AM EDT on June 11, 2012

Did you know Oklahoma City is considered the Fast Food Capital of America? Well, it is according to this article on CNN. Knowing that, you shouldn't be surprised to learn that Oklahoma City is soon going to be home to one of only three two-story McDonald's in the USA:

From NewsOK:

McDonald’s is super-sizing one of its Oklahoma City stores.

A two-story McDonald’s with an elevator and an indoor children’s play area is planned to replace the current restaurant at NW 23 and Pennsylvania Avenue. It will be the first double-decker McDonald’s in the state and one of only three being built in the U.S. this year (the others are in New York and Los Angeles), said Bruce Allendorfer, area construction manager for McDonald’s USA...

The two-story, 5,600-square-foot restaurant will have two drive-thru lanes, an elevator and stairs, indoor PlayPlace and a dumbwaiter to transport food to the second floor. Upstairs seating — a quieter area somewhat secluded from the children and family dining room — will be designed to attract executives and students from the nearby Oklahoma City University, Betty Santiago said. Orders can be placed on both the first and second floors.

Yes!  Finally there's a quiet, somewhat secluded dining option for that busy executive who likes sodium, McNuggets and $1 sweet teas. We truly are a big league city!

Anyway, this new McDonald's kind of weirds me out a little bit, and not just for the typical reasons like stroke, diabetes and heart disease.

First of all, I live in the middle of this imaginary boundary that I call Patrick's McDonald's Trapezium. It's like living in a stoner's paradise. There are literally four McDonald's within five minutes of my home. So whenever I want tasty food that will make me sad and want to die, bam, I can just hop in my car and I'll be at a McDonald's in no time. I can even get to a couple of them by taking the back roads, too.

Here's a map of it:

Notice something? Yes, the new double-decker McDonald's is the south point of the Trapezium. That means I can't make fun of it too much, because there's a 25% chance that I'm going to find myself stuck in its drive-thru very soon. The last thing I want to do is come across as hypocrite. Regular Jim Traber has cornered that market pretty well.

Another upsetting thing about this story is that I remember when the 23rd and Penn McDonald's was a new McDonald's! It was one of the first ones to have that cheesy, 1950's retro theme. Talk about a sign of aging. You know you're getting old when you've watched a McDonald's be built and remodeled. Just to make me feel older and even more pathetic, I bet they bring back the McD.L.T and Happy Meal toys that choked children.

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