This is the final bracket of the first round. Patrick said after voting ends he’ll meet everyone at Speakeasy and buy their drinks. By “everyone” I mean “no one." He also says that have a very similar appearance (and career arch) of Ranger Rodger.
Today's afternoon match-up are between:
(6) Rick Mitchell vs. (11) Regular Jim Traber
(3) The Ogle Brothers vs. (14) Toby Keith
(7) David Payne vs. (10) Boomer Tramel
(2) Carrie Underwood vs. (15) Nat Eastham
Here we go.
(6) Rick Mitchell vs. (11) Regular Jim Traber
(6) Rick Mitchell
Conference: Melancholy and the Infinite Meteorologists
Who He Is: KOCO Chief Meteorologist
Biggest Strengths: Said it would.
Biggest Weakness: It didn’t.
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(11) Regular Jim Traber
Conference: Short Fused Blowhards
Who He Is: The Sports Animal’s Resident Shouter
Biggest Strength: Gets paid to be a temperamental asshole.
Biggest Weakness: His cardboard twin is more personable and way less misogynistic.
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(3) The Ogle Brothers vs. (14) Toby Keith
(3) The Ogle Brothers
Conference: Enormous Siblings
Who They Are: Legendary local broadcasters/ giants.
Biggest Strengths: When it comes to local news, they run this bitch.
Biggest Weakness: Can’t get them all on one amazing network.
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(14) Toby Keith
Conference: Legendary Douchebags
Who He Is: Country “Singer”
Biggest Strength: People seem to like his horrible music.
Biggest Weakness: Will pull a gun on you if you ask for an autograph.
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(7) David Payne vs. (10) Boomer Tramel
(7) David Payne
Conference: People Who Get To Work With Emily Sutton
Who He Is: KFOR Meteorologist
Biggest Strength: Is Westbrook to Morgan’s Durant.
Biggest Weakness: Tries to get me to not watch the Today Show.
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(10) Boomer Tramel
Conference: People Who Probably Want To Shout At Jenni Carlson
Who He Is: Sports columnist for The Oklahoman
Biggest Strength: Acts awake when clearly he’s been asleep since 2003.
Biggest Weakness: Unaware hair products are a thing.
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(3) Carrie Underwood vs. (15) Nat Eastham
(3) Carrie Underwood
Conference: Women Who Won’t Give Me The Time Of Day
Who She Is: Country Singer
Biggest Strengths: Her enormous lung capacity.
Biggest Weakness: Brent Skarky won’t stop writing her.
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(15) Nat Eastman
Conference: The Not Bob Dylans
Who He Is: That guy who writes songs about Joleen Chaney
Biggest Strength: Writing incredibly charming, creepy and surprisingly catchy songs about Joleen Chaney
Biggest Weakness: Restraining orders.
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