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Ogle Madness V: First Round, West Region (Upper Bracket)

3:00 AM EDT on March 15, 2012

Well it’s time to vote for things that only matter to Oklahomans. Like guns and fetuses only WAY more entertaining. So who steps into the Ogledome to battle this morning?

(1) Kristen Chenowith vs. (16) Mathis Brothers Hamster
(8) Greyson Chance vs. (9) The Clark Matthews Era
(4) Bob Stoops vs. (13) Biker Fox
(5) Mike Morgan vs. (12) Garth Brooks

Let’s get ready to Thunder mascot! (It would’ve cost me 3500 bucks had I typed the actual thing.)

(1) Kristen Chenowith vs. (16) Mathis Brothers' Gerbil

(1) Kristen Chenowith

Conference: Tiny Entertainment Creatures

Who She Is: Actress/Famous Thunder Fan

Biggest Strengths: Singing/Acting/Dancing

Biggest Weakness: Her show GCB on ABC is NTG (Not That Good)

(16) Mathis Brother’s Hamster

Conference: Spelunking Woodland Creatures

Who He Is: The most infamous rat like creature since Trabes.

Biggest Strength: Managed to stay locally relevant longer than Lauren Nelson.

Biggest Weakness: Has rocked back and forth crying in his little hamster shower for over 20 years. (Hamster shower available at Mathis Brothers at Christmas time for $4.99 with your Zoo Friends Card. Just kidding. Don't sue us.)

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(8) Greyson Chance vs. (9) The Clark Matthews' Era

(8) Greyson Chance

Conference: Singers Way More Talented and Less Douchey Than Bieber

Who He Is: YouTube sensation discovered by Ellen DeGeneres

Biggest Strengths: Way more popular in school with girls than you ever were.

Biggest Weakness: Not as popular as Justin Bieber.

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(9) The Clark Matthews Era

Conference: Professional Checkers Players Association

What It Is: The amazing time in history from 1990 to the present

Biggest Strength: Allows Clark to relive the Eddie Sutton era.

Biggest Weakness: Time traveling DeLoreans are only available to Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd and Keving Durant.

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(4) Bob Stoops vs. (13) Biker Fox

(4) Bob Stoops

Conference: OU Head Coaches Non-Sorority Girl Category

Who He Is: Head coach for the Oklahoma Sooners.

Biggest Strength: Coaching winning season after winning season.

Biggest Weakness: Not sure if he’s a man because he hasn’t shouted at Jenni Carlson.

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(13) Biker Fox

Conference: Middle Aged Freak Shows

Who He Is: Popular Tulsa fixture who always wears bike shorts and enjoys having his picture taken with teenage girls and wild animals.

Biggest Strengths: Makes me glad I don’t live in Tulsa.

Biggest Weakness: Ill fitting everything.

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(5) Mike Morgan vs. (12) Garth Brooks

(5) Mike Morgan

Conference: Awesome Tie Sporting Weather Bad Asses

Who He Is: KFOR Lead Meteorologist

Biggest Strengths: Good tie choices / Probably hired Emily Sutton

Biggest Weakness: Will never be Gary England. Never.

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(12) Garth Brooks

Conference: Music Legend

Who He Is: Not Chris Gaines

Biggest Strength: Has sold more albums than Color Me Badd.

Biggest Weakness: Donating to charities

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