Hi everyone!
My name is Joel Decker. I'm a stand-up comedian, trivia host and former emcee for the Oklahoma City Thunder until we parted ways. In a testament to how low my career has fallen, Patrick has hired me to be your emcee and guide for Ogle Madness V. I'll be posting the daily match-ups, monitoring the polls and raking Clark Matthews' leaves. You think he would have gotten to that already, but he hasn't.
Here are the match-ups for this morning. They are from the upper bracket of the Northeast Region. We'll post the match-ups from the lower half of the bracket at noon:
(1) Kevin Durant vs. (16) Mike Morgan's Bedazzled Weather Tie
(8) Mayor Mick Cornett vs. (9) Cardboard Jim Traber
(4) Jaime Cerreta vs. (13) Sally Kern
(5) Jessica Schambach vs. (12) Landry Jones
Anyway, read about the contestants and vote for who you would like to see advance after the jump. Polling is open for 24-hours. And to view the entire Ogle Madness V bracket, click here.
(1) Kevin Durant vs. (16) Mike Morgan's Bedazzled Weather Tie
(1) Kevin Durant
Conference: Past Ogle Madness Winner
Who he is: Forward for the Oklahoma City Thunder, Sneaker Pimp
Biggest Strength: Scores more in one game than you've scored your entire life.
Biggest Weakness: Thought this was a fine idea to be a part of.
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(16) Mike Morgan's Bedazzled Weather Tie
Conference: Famous Local News Apparel
Who he is: Tie of weather legend Mike Morgan.
Biggest Strength: If you see that tie, shit's about to get real.
Biggest Weakness: If you see that tie, shit's about to get real bad.
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(8) Mayor Mick Cornett vs. (9) Cardboard Jim Traber
(8) Mayor Mick Cornett
Conference: Our Favorite Mayors Not Named McCheese
Who he is: Mayor of Oklahoma City, best city in the country.
Biggest Strength: MAPS, Thunder, Trivia buff
Biggest Weakness: Can't be mayor forever.
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(9) Cardboard Jim Traber
Conference: Cardboard D-Bag Dopplegangers
Who He Is: Lost Ogle Legend / More personable than real Trabes
Biggest Strengths: Doesn't speak
Biggest Weakness: Looks way too similar to real Trabes.
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(4) Jaime Cerreta vs. (13) Sally Kern
(4) Jaime Cerreta
Conference: Super attractive women who have to put up with Andrew Speno
Who She Is: FOX 25 Reporter
Biggest Strength: Putting up with Speno's insensitive remarks
Biggest Weakness: Not being Lauren Richardson
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(13) Sally Kern
Conference: Women We Can Do Without
Who She Is: Homophobic Politician
Biggest Strengths: N/A
Biggest Weaknesses: Everything. Just...everything.
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(5) Jessica Schambach vs. (12) Landry Jones
(5) Jessica Schambach
Conference: Local News Vixens
Who She Is: KOCO Reporter
Biggest Strengths: Her journalistic integrity. Kidding. Her looks.
Biggest Weaknesses: She's not in 3D and won't return calls or letters.
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(12) Landry Jones
Conference: Halfway Decent OU Quarterbacks
Who he Is: OU Quarterback
Biggest Strengths: Getting away with a bad mustache
Biggest Weaknesses: Getting engaged while being the starting QB for the University of Oklahoma.
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