What Did The Sooners Talk About In Their Players-Only Meeting?

When Michael Hunnicut's field goal clanged off the upright on Saturday night and it became apparent Texas Tech was going to pull out a shock victory over Oklahoma, all of us Sooner fans coped differently. Some people drank, some drank more, others drank even more than that. Everyone pledged to avoid the Sports Animal all week.

The Sooner players handled it by calling a team meeting. Among the topics discussed were the "teams goals [sic], which still included winning a national title, and Travis Lewis apologizing for comments he made about injured teammates after the game."

Okay, well, this team isn't winning a national title, but it's fine to hold out hope and keep playing like you have a chance, and it's nice that Travis Lewis apologized for his boneheaded remarks, but that's not really much of a meeting. Surely something else came up? After the jump, our best guesses at some of the other topics covered in the Sooners' players-only meeting.

Bob Stoops' Freaky Pinkies

Am I the only one who notices how Bob Stoops' hands are completely normal all the way until it gets to the pinky, and all the sudden they jut out crazily to the side? I can't help remark about it every time I see him clap, and I'm just watching on tv! If I was a player on the team, I'm pretty sure I would spend hours trying to figure out what is going on there.

---

Picking the uniform combos for the Kansas State game

I bet this takes a whole lot less time than it does OSU.

---

Making plans to screw Dean Blevins' reporting of injuries

Tuesday -- the day after the players-only meeting -- Deano took to twitter and the Sports Animal airwaves to report that Tom Wort and Jamell Fleming would miss the K-State game, only to come back a bit later backtracking as fast as possible.

Take that back. My source &I were texting and miscommunicated. Bottom line, Fleming is possible and Wort is expected to play. I hate texts!

#OU MLB Tom wort & corner Jamell Fleming could possibly play @ #KSU. I'd reported they were out Miscommunication texting w the authority.

Texting back and forth in shorthand can b problematic. 2 and 2 don't always equal 4 my fault but good news for #OU.

I don't want to be too hard on Deano here. Texting in shorthand can indeed be problematic; things get lost in the translation and damnyouautocorrect.com exists for a reason. He fixed the mistake promptly; no harm, no foul. But still, Dean: 2 and 2 always equals 4. I double checked just to make sure. I mean, I've been hard on Dean in the past, but I am quite positive he can do simple math. Whatever bizarre metaphor he is trying to make here completely fails and is hilariously Dean-esque.

---

A debate as to whether or not Whitney Hand should be known as "Yoko" from now on

I made a joke on twitter awhile back that if OU lost a game Whitney Hand would forever be called Yoko. A bit harsh, perhaps, because at least Whitney Hand didn't make Landry Jones pose for bizarre magazine shoots, but Landry has always been a great home quarterback. Something caused problems Saturday night...

---

Making plans for group sex

Someone's got to carry on the tradition.

---

Arguing about whether Skip Bayless is an idiot or just an attention whore

All right, this was five nights ago which is an eternity when it comes to the internet, but it's my column and I get to write about what I want, so there. As soon as the game was over, this clown took to twitter and gave us what can only described as the equivalent of the late-stages of a message board meltdown. First was this:

This is the worst night of my LIFE. Living nightmare. Sorriest performance in Oklahoma football HISTORY. Lost at home to 30-pt underdog.

I mean, what the hell. Skip Bayless probably really needs some perspective, because I'm pretty sure that a football team losing a game does not constitute the worst night of his LIFE, and if does he should really be way more happy than he seems to be, because he's the luckiest person I've ever seen.

Then, he came back with this and this.

Seriously, Bob Stoops should be FIRED. I've said this many times. Great recruiter, worst motivator in America. Long history of disasters.

FIRE STOOPS! Recruits loaded teams that lay eggs when least expect it. Knew I shouldn't have trusted him this season. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

What can anyone say? This guy is paid a whole lot of money to analyze sports. And what you get is what you can expect from a Mark Rodgers caller on the Middle-Of-The-Day Show. It's great to speak truth to powerful people and have an original take on topics, but Skip Bayless is flat out trolling at this point. He shouldn't be taken seriously and ESPN should be embarrassed to call itself a news organization as long as he's employed there.