We recently got an email from an Ogle Mole about an interesting item for sell at a some internet auction. And when I say "interesting," I really mean "best friend for Cardboard Jim Traber." Check it out:
Yes, someone was selling a Cardboard Cal Ripken. That sound you just heard was Regular Jim Traber getting an erection.
What sucks about this is that Cardboard Cal Ripken has already sold for $30 damn dollars. I would have at least paid $50 for it. I would have done this because Cardboard Jim Traber needs a friend who likes to kick it while drinking beer and wearing tighty-whities underwear.
Seriously, Cardboard Jim gets pretty hot and lonely in my garage. Cardboard Mayor lives there, too, but he doesn't care for Cardboard Jim. We asked him why, but he said there were "more reasons than he can mention." He added "some obvious, some not so obvious."