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Two years ago, one of the funniest events to involve an Oklahoman elected to statewide office occurred when Labor Commissioner Lloyd Fields got wasted and stole a guitar.  The prank involved a professional bull rider and aspiring musician named Colby Yates, who is now trying his hand at becoming a political kingmaker.

Fields has referred to the event in which he "stole" the guitar (as Yates describes it in a radio spot, it would be more accurately described as "picking it up without permission") as a "joke."  The prank obviously upset Yates, so now he is trying to retaliate by aiding Fields' challenger Mark Costello.  Costello, obviously, likes bringing attention to an event that ended with his opponent landing in public detox, but he may have wanted to vet his endorser before making him the centerpiece of his campaign.

After the jump, we share some of the lyrics Colby Yates has written to go with that guitar.  Let's just say, we can't put them on the main page.

I'm not sure what was to be expected from a song called "Concho Whores," but I've heard Gangsta rap with tamer lyrics:

Well me and my boys we're lookin for a scoreAnd we know where to find us a couple little whoresAnd they come down there from Weatherford SteeplevilleThey're gettin prettied up while we just chillAnd if you don't know the girls that we're talkin aboutListen close and I'll sing it for you loudThey wear them black capri pantsAnd a shiny concho beltThey all like to have their titties feltThere's only one type of these girlsAnd one place to find em'And you don't even have to wine em' and dine em'

So we're headin down to the CadillacFind some concho whores and cum on their backAnd if they try to fight hell we'll just choke em' downWhile we're drinkin back a shot of Crown

Listen to it here.

Then, there's this little ditty by Costello's wingman:

leavin the rodeo no money just a fuckin black eyethe boys are all in the truck yeah we're ready for a good timewhen we pulled up to the bar we were all drunk on crownand went out lookin for the girls who are bad to lay downi hit up this big boobed girl she was kind of shywhispered in my ear i was like oh me oh myi'm gonna give you some sympathy ass for that black eyei'm still rockin these whores from shore to shorekeep your daughters in the house i'm on a bad to lay down tour

Obviously, the Republican Party has reduced its emphasis on "Family Values" in this election cycle, instead preferring to pretend the founding fathers were protesting taxation WITH representation.  However, I imagine that if Lloyd Fields had solicited campaign assistance from a foul mouthed, Crown Royal loving poon hound who warned people to keep their daughters locked up, Fields would be crucified by The Oklahoman. Instead, the paper gave Costello their endorsement.

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(Thanks to an Ogle Mole--they know who they are--for pointing these lyrics out to us.)

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