Tomorrow, Republicans in Oklahoma's 5th District will go to the polls to select which right-wing nut job they want to be our next congressman.
In order to make that previous sentence somewhat tolerable, we asked our readers to email us their tales of Falls Creek debauchery. This is because James Lankford, the dude who is favored to win the election, was the director of the Falls Creek church camp from 1996 to 2009. The Falls Creek church camp is almost more notorious for teenagers making out in the woods than it is for baptisms and Christian rock.
Anyway, here were the parameters of the contest:
The tale can be about anything you experienced while attending the Falls Creek Church Camp. It can be about the first time you drank Boone's Farm, the first time you touched a girls boob, or the first time you watched someone else touch a girls boob while you hid behind the bushes. We'll then publish them on the website, and give a special still-not-determined prize to the one we like the best. And it should be noted that bonus points will be given to any tale that happened under Lankford's watch or begins with "I can't believe I'm actually writing this."
Surprisingly, we actually had several (Yes, several) tales of debauchery emailed to us. Even more surprisingly, some of them may be real. Disappointingly, none of them had anything to do with lesbians or midgets.