Meth is bad…

Last week, the man pictured above was arrested on, get this, drug related charges.  From the state's most trusted news:

Police said they found military ordnance, illegal mushrooms and other drugs in the home of a man who was arrested Tuesday.

John Francis Wallace, 46, was arrested after Warr Acres police served an arrest warrant with the assistance of an Oklahoma County Sheriff's Department bomb squad, said Sgt. John Gray, Warr Acres police spokesman.

Officers went to Wallace's house at 5710 N Central about 6:10 a.m. Tuesday and found methamphetamine, the drug ecstasy, marijuana and psilocybin mushrooms, Gray said.

I know meth is bad, but when did it start turning people into clown lepers?   Seriously, give this guy a band-aid...and Neosporin...and  a "Vote for Pedro" shirt.

I wish I could have been in Warr Acres for the arrest.  It was probably the most interesting thing to occur in that town since Incredible Pizza opened.  I bet the guy tried to evade police by running off on big stilts or by speeding away in tiny little car with an ooooga horn.  I bet he was also wearing a purple dress.

Anyway, instead of spending thousands of dollars on another silly Crystal Darkness documentary, our civic leaders should just put this guy in a cage and haul him around to every elementary schools across the state.  Meth and drug use would drop overnight.  Kids would also lose weight from throwing up their lunch. That makes it a "win win."