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Jessica Alba Vandalized Downtown Oklahoma City. Seriously.

12:05 AM EDT on June 8, 2009


I've written a bunch of crazy things during the brief history of The Lost Ogle.  Nothing, though, can probably match the truthful absurdity of the following sentence:

Last week, Jessica Alba plastered posters of a great white shark across different spots in Downtown Oklahoma City.

Yes, let me write that again.

Last week, Jessica Alba plastered posters of a great white shark across different spots in Downtown Oklahoma City.  These locations included Stage Center and a railroad overpass near Bricktown. And she did it all to bring awareness to the dwindling great white shark population. From the shark conservation blog White Mike:

Who says they don't know how to swim in Oklahoma? I beg to differ. I met quite a few people that are passionate about sharks while on my visit. I stumbled into a Hollywood transplant working out there who has a fear yet a passion for sharks which they discovered and faced while filming Into the Blue. No, it's not that guy from Fast and the Furious. It's a she. And it's Jessica Alba.

Yeah, I'm not too sure what to think about this. On one hand, I guess it's pretty cool that a hot Hollywood A-lister flew an animal rights activist to Oklahoma City to help her make an artistic political statement. On the other hand, what does this say about our city when a Hollywood A-lister has to fly an animal rights activist to town just for a little entertainment? I know we're not L.A. or New York, but is Oklahoma City really that boring? I mean we do have a canal and a cowboy hall of a fame and firefighters museum and...well...nevermind.

Anyway, instead of posterizing our downtown, Jessica should just hang out with local shark enthusiasts. For example, I am a long time supporter of international efforts to protect our global great white shark population. In fact, I love great white sharks so much that I have posters of them plastered to my garage, I take off from work to watch Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, and I have been nicknamed "Jaws" and "Hammerhead" by my best friends.

Also, I've been known to occasionally swim with these oceanic predators...without a cage. I've done this because I'm incredibly brave, strong, and handsome, plus the sharks and I have a peaceful friendship. If Jessica Alba would like to go to the beach with me sometime to look for these beasts of the ocean – or perhaps just talk about it over some coffee or several adult beverages – she can contact me immediately. As an added bonus, we can even talk about The Lost Ogle's recent push to get her named as an honorary Oklahoman.

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