OPUBCO Pinching Pennies
12:19 AM EST on February 2, 2009
Apparently, laying off a bunch of employees was not enough to get The Oklahoman out of the red. Now, they are taking further steps to make themselves into the profitable media Goliath they fashion themselves to be. They are cutting benefits for those that remain.
Thanks to an Ogle mole, we have obtained the following memo which details the closing of the OPUBCO Child Daycare Center. Here is what it says:
January 26, 2009
OPUBCO Child Development Center Families
Despite the rate increases that went into effect July 1, 2008, OPUBCO budgeted approximately $150,000 to subsidize the operations of the OPUBCO Child Development Center ("Center") during 2009. Given the state of the economy, we have made the difficult decision to close the Center effective July 3, 2009. This decision was not made lightly or without a great deal of consideration to the impact it will have on each family, but we simply cannot continue to subsidize the Center's operations. It is our hope that by providing this advance notice, you will have sufficient time to locate a quality alternative for your child(ren) beginning July 6, 2009.
If you have any questions about the information contained in this letter, please feel free to give me a call at 475-4016 or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. On behalf of OPUBCO, please accept our apologies for the concern and inconvenience this decision may cause. We wish the best for your child(ren)'s pre-school care and education.
Vice President of Human Resources
The real shame of this, aside from many excellent early childhood educators being laid off, is that the center was one of the best daycare options in the state. Now, the parents of a hundred some odd newborns to five year olds are scrambling to find day time supervision for their children that at least rivals the quality the ladies at OPUBCO's CDC provided.
And to save, what, $150,000?** You can bet that Christy Gaylord Everest's salary won't be among the things they considered to relieve their hemorraging income statement. She'll continue to make her ridiculously high salary which she earns simply by maintaining her maiden name. The company could save twice that if they halved the amount budgeted for Christy to buy foam fingers at OU games held at Gaylord Family Stadium. You can also rest assured that the executives of the paper will not be forgoing their uber-suite at the Ford Center.
With those golden calves protected, here are some other cuts The Oklahoman has considered in their efforts to become profitable again.
* Employee cafeteria accepting canned food donations
* Insurance policy will no longer cover Dave Morris' Prozac
* To save on ink cost, Viva Oklahoma will ditch the upside down exclamation point
* Rejecting Ed Kelley's expense report when it includes "hair piece maintenence" charges
* Cancelling their Rivals.com membership
* Replace the deep dish pizza in the cafeteria with the sheets of pizza used in school cafeterias
* Have newspaper subscription fees deducted from employee's pay check
* Fire Jenni Carlson (This works two-fold. They save on her salary, and more people will buy the paper without her blathering contained within.)
* Change format from daily newspaper to "alternative weekly"
* Stop watering the trees atop the black tower
(** - interesting tidbits. The Company didn't even try to sell the center which you would think, considering they were trying to save money, would have been a way to recoup some of their losses. Also, the fact that the CDC has a mothball date hasn't stopped The Oklahoman from using it's current existence for the purpose of recruiting new employees...)