About 5 years ago, I lived in Tulsa for three months. It was a traumatic experience. Anyway, the one bad thing about coming home was that I had to leave behind my girlfriend and current playboy model Haydn Porter. I tell you all what I told her: "That's life. Get over it. Move on."
UPDATE: Whoa. Apparently, Haydn was only 14 when I lived in Tulsa. I was just kidding. Nevermind.
