An Open Letter to Jesus

Dear Jesus,

This is Patrick from TheLostOgle.com. I know this is kind of late, but I'd like to go ahead and thank you for having the UPS guy accidentally drop off those Harry and David Pears at my house around Christmas. They were delicious. And I think my neighbor ended up getting another order at no charge, so it was a win-win for everyone.

Anyway, I got another favor to ask. When you get a moment, can you look into making Bob Knight the head coach for the Oklahoma State men's basketball program next season? By making this happen, you would be doing a huge favor to several thousand people across Oklahoma.

You see, here in Oklahoma City there is a sports talk station called The Sports Animal. The most annoying host on The Sports Animal is a guy named Jim Traber (you've probably never heard of him). Yesterday, Mr. Traber vowed to basically no longer acknowledge, address or have anything to do with Oklahoma State men's basketball program if they fired Sean Sutton and replaced him with Coach Knight. If this were to happen, we would hope that Mr. Traber would have to either quit his job and/or eat the biggest piece of humble pie ever made, which would be an amazing thing!

So Jesus, please please please do what you can and make Coach Knight the Cowboys next head coach. The people of Oklahoma and I would really appreciate it.

Your friend,

Patrick

p.s. - Go ahead and put this request in front of that Maggie Carlo thing I emailed you a few weeks ago. It can wait.