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Is Miss America Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

10:32 AM EST on January 16, 2008

I don't watch the show "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" because, well, I'm a little afraid of what the answer might be. Also, I'm too busy doing nothing else, which seems more exciting. But I might tune in tomorrow night, because Oklahoma's own Miss America, Lauren Nelson, is going to be a contestant.

Now, beauty queens, much like myself, sometimes have a reputation as not being very intelligent. I for one think that is a terrible stereotype, and am fully confident that, armed with a strong Lawton Mac education and the benefits of dumbed-down questions that come with celebrity game shows, Ms. Nelson will prove to indeed be smarter than a fifth grader.

Also, I'm not certain, but I assume she picked this particular game show for a reason, and that reason is not Jeff Foxworthy. She's been all over my television for weeks talking about saving the children from internet predators. A noble goal, to be sure, but one that we would have been able to take a little more seriously had she not flipped, and then flopped when it came time to testify against said predators. It's all just a little too, I don't know, Bobbi Burbridge Lane for my taste.

Oh well, tune in tomorrow and watch un-funny exchanges like this one and find out the answer to a question man has asked since the beginning of time: "Is Miss America smarter than a fifth grader?" And do they always have to wear their crown?

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