Awhile back, I made a post that, through the magic of the internets, revealed the political donations of some of Oklahoma's most notable people. That was such a hit (two comments, one of which came from Clark), that I've decided to make a sequel. I'm calling it: Rich People Donate To Other Rich People, Part 2: Now With More Richness! (Richitude? Richocrisy? Whatevs, these dudes are loaded)
And off we go...
Mike Holder -- OSU Athletic Director
Donated To: Rudy Giuliani
This is good for OSU, because it provides a fall back plan in case things with Boone Pickens go sour. Now, if necessary OSU can change the name of the stadium to "Rudy Giuliani Stadium" or, as Giuliani probably prefers "9-11 9-11 9-11 Field"
Tom Ward -- Chairman of SandRidge Energy, co-founder of Chesapeake Energy
Donated To: John McCain
I might be wrong about this, but I think Tom Ward is part of the Sonics ownership group. If that is true, I don't know what Ward is thinking donating to John McCain. David Stern is well-known as a Democrat, having given over $800,000 to Democrats. Tom Ward should not be giving cash to Republicans. This could jeopardize our chances of the Sonics' moving to OKC. What if, at the last minute, George Soros moves to Kansas City and wants the team? We'd be screwed! Ward needs to stop giving based on his principles and start sucking up to David Stern.
Harland Stonecipher -- Founder of Pre-Paid Legal Services
Donated To: Hillary Clinton
Let's see how good the Ogle is at starting rumors: That Hillary Clinton is taking money from this guy proves she will turn the military into a multi-level marketing system. Anyone who signs up to serve will have to sign up 5 other people. Tell your friends!
J. Clifford Hudson -- CEO, President, Chairman of the Board of Sonic
Donated To: Hillary Clinton, Andrew Rice
Rice and Clinton need to be in one of those Sonic commercials. How hilarious would it be to have Hillary Clinton screaming "Don't you bring that weak tot action" at Andrew Rice?
Jackie Cooper -- Car dealer
Donated To: Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, John Edwards
David Hudiburg -- Car dealer
Donated To: Rudy Giuliani
Now, thanks to my boredom, everyone in Oklahoma City can decide which dealership to go to based on their political affiliation. Republican? Hudiburg's your place. Democrat? Jackie Cooper's your spot. Green Party? Get a haircut, hippie.
Hal Smith -- Restaurateur
Donated To: Mary Fallin
This explains the time I saw Mary Fallin eating at Redrock Canyon Grill. It also explains the "I *heart* Molly Ringwald" bumper sticker I saw on a car in the parking lot that night. However, this does not explain why the waitress rebuked my several inquiries as to whether she wanted to go back to my place. Also, Stonehenge. This does not explain Stonehenge.
George Nigh -- Former governor and President of UCO
Donated To: Hillary Clinton
At first I was wondering why it was that Nigh donated to Clinton. Sure, they're both Democrats, but why her and not Barack Obama or Mike Gravel? Then I figured it out. Bill Clinton and George Nigh were governors at the same time. They probably met at a governor's convention or something and became fast friends while playing checkers and drinking ginger ale. (I have no idea if this is what governors actually do, but I would if I was governor. Also, 24-hour dance parties.)
Ernest Istook -- Former US Representative
Donated To: Mitt Romney
As a white, Mormon Republican, I guess Romney is indeed the perfect match for Istook. Perhaps in gratitude, Romney can pull some strings and get the next Winter Olympics moved to Oklahoma. He was, after all, CEO of the '02 Olympics. He must still have some connections to the Olympic Committee. Think about it: They could have the figure skating at Artic Edge and they could bobsled down the Bermuda Triangle at White Water Bay. I don't understand why no one has thought of this before.
Linda Soundtrak -- Former pitchlady and mom of Sluggo
Donated To: Artur Davis
Linda Soundtrak is now living in Alabama, and donated money to Congressman Artur Davis. I think that as thanks for the donation, Davis should make her his press secretary. How awesome would it be to have a press secretary dressed up in a bunny suit? Pretty awesome, I say. It makes me want to high five someone.
Blake Rambo -- Press Secretary, University of Oklahoma
Donated To: No one that I can tell, I just wanted a chance to use the name Blake Rambo again.
