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Oklahoma Initiative Ideas: 70-61

5:11 AM EDT on October 15, 2007

70. Give Tyler Suiters his own nightly opinion piece called, "I don't give a shit."

Kelly's got his two cents. Kevin has a rant. Tyler? We get the feeling he really doesn't give a shit about anything. And we want to hear why!

69. Ban all the rich, casual OU 'fans' from going to the OU - Texas game.

I would say that half of the OU fans that go to the Red River Shootout are not even OU fans, but just boring rich people who claim to be fans. You know these people. They wear an OU polo shirt to work each Friday, but can't name you last year's starting quarterback. They claim to bleed crimson and cream, yet they did't attend or order the Utah State game on pay-per-view. Banning these "fans" from going to the game would not only be beneficial to all true OU fans, but it would also quell the only legitimate argument for not playing the OU-Texas game in Dallas.

68. Allow bungee jumping from LifeChurch's ginormous cross.

If LifeChurch was really creative, they would put a moat around the cross and allow bungee baptisms.

67. Build a "new and improved" lost Chinese city under Downtown.

This past summer, the Oklahoman ran a cool feature about an underground Chinese city that used to exist under downtown in the early 1900's. When remnants of the city where uncovered in the 1960's, they were destroyed for the sake of urban renewal. By building a new and improved lost Chinese city under our downtown streets, we'll give tourists something new to visit on the weekend and hopefully get some world-class opium dens to finally come to town.

66. Open an airport and name it after an individual who did not die in a plane crash.

Although Will Rogers and Wiley Post are both Oklahoma legends, isn't it a bit creepy that both of airports are named after them? This would be like naming our highways after famous Oklahoman's who died in car wrecks.

65. Enact a "must have 10 teeth" requirement to enter the Oklahoma State Fair.

Although this law would impact 10% of all fair attendees, our statisticians assured us the state fair attendance would nearly double if the "common" Oklahoman knew that the toothless people would not be allowed.

64. Give Moore the slogan, "Kind of like the south side, only not as poor."

Every time I'm in Moore, I feel like I'm back home on the south side of Oklahoma City. But then my Moore friends remind me that a lot of rich people actually live in Moore in fancy neighborhoods with fancy names. Hence the slogan...

63. Paint all Oklahoma City police cars pink to promote breast cancer awareness.

Sure, criminals might not find the cars all that intimidating, but it would be for a good cause.

62. Anyone wearing a Jenks or Tulsa Union replica football jersey can be shot on sight.

There's nothing wrong with being a high school football fan. But when you wear a replica football jersey that is worn on the field by 16 and 17 year old boys, you have some issues.

61. Rename the portion of South Robinson between SW 15th and SW 44th as "Hinder Drive."

This would satisfy the throngs of Hinder fans that are upset that the Flaming Lips have an alley in Bricktown and Hinder doesn't. And since this section of South Robinson is notoriously known as the OKC red light district, there couldn't be a more perfect road to honorably don the Hinder name.

More Stuff: Initiative Ideas 100 - 71

P.S.- Please note that unlike our Top 100 Oklahoma Embarrassments, our 100 contributions are not "ranked" in any way. And if you have any ideas that you would like to see on our list, send us an email. We may include it!

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