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Goth Names

8:05 PM EDT on October 11, 2007

It's hard to be a patron of the internet and avoid the name generator.  If you have a MySpace page, your friends have probably posted bulletins urging you to find out your Pirate Name (mine is "Eel Skin Jake").  Or if you have an email account, you've probably received email forwards coaxing you to translate your real name into a pop star ("Prince Taylor") or Brazillian soccer star name ("Mattha").

Sometimes, word of mouth is enough, as was the case with DeadName.com for me.  Unsolicited, a co-worker commanded that I go to the site.  Using the generator, I learned that if I listened to Marilyn Manson, wore nothing but black, and was obsessed with death, my compatriots would refer to me as "Twisted Illusion".  So not impressed was I. 

She had already been checking out goth names for other employees of the company.  Since I wasn't really planning to refer to our boss as "Slut Boi", I passed on following her lead.  However, being who I am, and already distracted from productive work (not that this takes much), I began checking the goth names for some of Oklahoma City's elite citizens.

Attempt #1:

With this, I started thinking, "Hmm, maybe this name generator is on to something."  So, I continued with this: 

Well, after seeing it nail the first two, I had to continue.  So, after the jump, find out whether your friend on VampireFreaks.com might be a famous Oklahoman.

Brad Henry = Bondage Slut (I knew that pristine image was too good to be true.)

Mick Cornett = Heartless ArchAngel

Amy McRee = Beautiful Nightmare  (Define "nightmare"?)

David Boren = Velvet Dreams

Tom Coburn = Beautifully Chaotic (That could explain some of his votes

Jim Inhofe = Disturbed Angel

Ashlynn Brooke = Heavenly Demonic

Kelli Gallo = bitch slave (All lowercase, weird)

Lauren Nelson = Dessicated Corpse

Mary Fallin = Mummified Corpse  (Does that mean she's related to Miss America in Goth circles?)

Gary England = Freak

Patrick Nelson = Liquid Vamp

Tony Hanadarko = Velvet Crotch

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