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Top 100 Oklahoma Embarrassments: 80-71

80. Chuck Norris

If Clark Matthews never writes another article for, you can probably assume that an omniscient Chuck Norris sensed this article and roundhouse kicked Mr. Matthews to death. Truthfully, Chuck probably does not belong on a list of embarrassments and putting his name here is nearly as bad for karma as calling Gary England an embarrassment, but having him here does two things. 1) It points out that Chuck Norris is an Oklahoman, and 2) he's internet gold. As for an excuse for placing him here: Three words...Walker. Texas. Ranger.

79. Desmond Mason

Personally, I love the man. He's a great defender, the face of the Oklahoma City Hornets, and most importantly, starred at Oklahoma State the four years I attended the university. Of course, everytime the man puts up a shot, I cringe. His jumpshot can be described as nothing less than fugly, and I'm not sure when he decided you: "You know what my mechanics need? A pumpfake, while wide open, in midshot."

78. Luke Corbett

This one is personal. For full disclosure, I used to work under Luke Corbett...and by under, I mean I was a worthless peon while he was the CEO of Kerr-McGee Corporation. In my opinion, though, Corbett is pure evil. After K-M was under attack of a hostile takeover by noted corporate raider Carl Icahn, Corbett fought him off by calling on favors from local civic leaders. While Oklahoma City rallied to save the company that had become iconic during its 75 years, almost all located in downtown OKC, Corbett secretly negotiated with a company in Houston to sell K-M.

Making matters worse, just prior to receiving his $250 million payout, Kerr-McGee opened up their company store to the remaining employees. Of course, thirty minutes before the giveaway, Corbett went in and took all the really good stuff (like the putters emblazoned with the K-M logo) for himself.

77. Tom Cruise

If Tom Cruise were truly an Oklahoman, he'd be much higher on this list. He's certifiably crazy and he has a mission in life of spreading the religion of a bad science fiction writer. The fact that one of the films that put him on the map, The Outsiders, was filmed in Tulsa, though, puts his taint on this state.

76. Rand Elliott

This Frank Lloyd Wright wannabe is littering the Oklahoma architecture scene with atrociously out of place buildings. My wife would tell you that he designs buildings to look good in photographs. They do. Of course, buildings exist outside of magazines and typically are counted on to be functional. While the Chesapeake Boathouse is actually kind of neat, he is also responsible for that weird broken glass stuff at Kirkpatrick Bank in Edmond and most reprehensibly the funky, rave-like underground tunnels in downtown OKC.

75. Darrell Porter

MVP of the 1982 World Series, Porter was a poster child for the drug adled '70s. A waste of talent due to his inner demons, Porter finally succumbed to his addiction with a cocaine overdose in 2002.

74. Chester Gould

Being the creator of Dick Tracy is, in itself, kind of cool. That creation leading to a movie that featured Madonna, however, tainted him.

73. Mary Hart

In 1991, the New England Journal of Medicine reported that her voice, when heard as co-host of Entertainment Tonight, may have triggered an epileptic woman to go into seizures. She, at one point, practiced her deadly trade on a news program in Oklahoma.

72. Rue McClanahan

As Blanche Deveraux on The Golden Girls, Mrs. McLanahan did too much in furthering the sexual revolution of post-menopausal women.

71. Ron Howard

This is another personal one. Because of red headed Ron Howard's portrayal on The Andy Griffith Show, I was tormented as youth being called Opie. Being associated with Ron is less embarrassing these days after he produced one of the greatest sitcoms ever.

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