I don’t like thieves. I don’t like vandals. And I really don’t like stupid people. So naturally, I’m not a fan of Carl Robinson and Christopher Klimcak — the pair of alleged criminal masterminds recently arrested for stealing a $13,000 bronze statue from a Tulsa-area library, cutting it into pieces, and selling the remains to a local recycling facility for a cool $400.
Here are the details via KTUL:
Two men are facing felony charges after police say they stole a bronze statue worth more than $13,000 from the Judy Z. Kishner Library and later sold the pieces for scrap.
The statue disappeared around 3:30 a.m. Nov. 24, and police began investigating after a report was filed on Dec. 2.
Tulsa Crime Stoppers offered a reward, generating dozens of tips.
A breakthrough came Dec. 5, when an anonymous caller reported that two men recently arrested by Owasso police — Carl Robinson and Christopher Klimcak — were responsible for the theft.
Apparently, the duo was already in custody for unrelated crimes when police showed them surveillance footage of themselves dragging a statue into the woods, followed soon after by video of them unloading bronze scraps at a recycling facility. Faced with the evidence, both allegedly confessed.
Here are their mugshots. First up, Carl Robinson:
On the topic of statues, can we make a bust of that man’s head and put it on a bench at the Museum of Osteology? Seriously, that is some unnatural curvature. Did he get a dumbbell dropped on his skull as a child, or is his dad one of the aliens from Mars Attacks!?
Next is Christopher Klimcak. While he doesn’t have quite as many dents and mysterious oblong features as his accomplice, he does appear to be suffering from a textbook case of resting meth face. He looks like a man whose entire personality is built around catalytic converters and bad ideas.
Is it just me, or is Chris making the same facial expression that your dog does when you say “Squirrel!” Who knows? Maybe the person taking the mugshot said “Copper!”
Anyway, I have no idea how many years each of these perps is facing, but based on their already lengthy rap sheets and the Oklahoma criminal justice system, I’m sure they’ll be back out in no time, free to vandalize more public art in exchange for another short-lived high. That’s how it works, right? Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
