We’ve got some cool news to report for all the tourists flocking to Oklahoma to hunt and kill mountain lions!
Earlier today, the Oklahoma Wildlife Department announced the first-ever documented and official mountain lion cub sighting within our borders by white people who first started settling here about 150 years ago.
As expected, the news triggered a Category 5 “Puma Alert” in the local media, with every outlet roaring out a story with some pics. Check this out:
Yep, it’s official! Mountain lions are now moving to Oklahoma to have anchor cubs! And you know what? Good for them! Whether you’re a human or feline, we’re all just vicious mammalian predators who deserve a shot at a better life — or deer carcass — in the end.
According to the Oklahoma Wildlife Department, the sighting could be proof that the mountain lions — just like rural Oklahoma teenagers — have set up breeding populations in the state:
“While exciting and interesting, these sightings are just one small piece of the puzzle needed to better understand this species,” said Jerrod Davis, senior programs biologist.
Davis told News On 6 the sightings could indicate a slow but natural expansion of mountain lion populations from other states.
“It’s our first piece of evidence that mountain lions may be breeding in Oklahoma, a key indicator the population is becoming established. That two female mountain lions have established territories in Oklahoma is a direct reflection of a healthy ecosystem and has a balancing effect on the habitat.”
That’s awesome!
Just like anyone who finds themselves imagining what they’d do if they stumbled across a mountain lion while walking the trails at Martin Nature Park, I’ve always been fascinated by the creatures. So I guess it’s cool that they — just like all the humans fleeing the high costs, high crime, and high-pounding regulations of California — are moving here to breed and start a family!
Unfortunately, not everyone is happy with these new Oklahoma transplants.
Oklahoma Attorney General Gentner Drummond — the 2026 gubernatorial favorite who owns a ranch in a county that was home to one of the sightings — called for the mountain lions to be rounded up and removed from the state like Afghan refugees:
“At great risk to public safety, Governor Stitt has allowed unchecked mountain lions to flood across our state’s natural borders and put the Oklahoma people at bodily harm and risk,” said Drummond. “These apex predators have not been properly vetted. We don’t know where they came from, what they’ve been exposed to, or even if they recognize Oklahoma hunting laws. Yet here they are — prowling trails, breeding in secret, and destabilizing our native predator workforce.”
Meanwhile, Oklahoma State School Superintendent Ryan Walters — another gubernatorial possibility — posted a car video vlog warning of woke mountain lion ideologies and demanded that the kittens' immigration status be tracked and documented like a public school student:
“This is nothing but a coordinated plan by radical feline environmentalists who want to sneak cougar kitty litter into Oklahoma public school classrooms,” said State Superintendent Ryan Walters. “I stand with President Trump in his effort to make Oklahoma schools safe from liberal indoctrination, woke ideology, and vicious trans mountain lion attacks.”
Governor Stitt, however, expressed excitement that mountain lions may be breeding here and promised to gather up a posse to hunt and kill them all — like an unlucky bobcat wandering onto his hobby farm:
Anyway, all joking aside, I wish these new mountain lions the best of luck here in Oklahoma. We may not be the best state to live in — for humans or large predatory cats — but if you keep your head down, ignore the politics, and don’t get caught in someone’s backyard like Bear E. Switzer, you just might make it.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
