It's time to pour a little cup of honey out for our homey.
Late last night, reports came out that a real-life black bear was spotted climbing a tree in a central Norman neighborhood. They've already been given a name by the Internet – Bear E. Switzer.
Naturally, the sighting quickly got the attention of social media users, law enforcement officials, and the local media. They flocked to the scene like grizzlies spotting a run of salmon, because you know – THERE WAS A BEAR CLIMBING A TREE IN NORMAN!!!
The saga quickly unfolded before our eyes on social media. Some dude named Ben Latham was all over it:
Eventually, the police and game wardens shot the bear with the world's weakest tranquilizer gun, leading the had-to-be-terrified and groggy beast to climb higher up into the tree.
From there, you probably know what happened. The bear fell out of the tree, missing the protective padding the firemen set out for him.
Here's some sad video of the fall:
That. Is. Brutal. Miraculously, the bear seemed to survive. But then...
That's sad. The bear seemed like a cool dude. It sucks he (or she) happened to wander into an area that thousands of apex predators call home. If only he would have complied with law enforcement's demands, none of this would have happened.
News of the bear's death quickly made the rounds. In their rush to be first on the scene and on the story, the crack news team at Channel 9 filed this incorrect report that made it seem like the bear was still alive:
After a five-hour struggle, Game wardens and the Norman Fire Department were able to catch a black bear that had been cornered in the backyard of a Norman residence on Wednesday night.
Game Wardens shot multiple tranquilizer darts towards the bear as it slept in a tree near Pickard Avenue and Elmwood Drive.
Officials were able to load the bear onto a horse trailer after he fell from the top of the tree.
According to police, the same bear was spotted in Noble and Purcell before Wednesday night.
No injuries were reported.
Yeah, whoever claimed "no injuries were reported" obviously didn't talk to the bear that was shot with multiple darts, fell 20 feet to the ground, and was killed with a shotgun.
Obviously, the question is why did the police shoot the bear? Was it too injured from the fall???
I guess not. Just like they do in shootings involving humans, they blamed the bear:
A black bear is dead after it found itself in a tree in a Norman home's backyard.
The bear was in the tree for nearly five hours before the branch it was on broke and the bear fell to the ground.
Officials say the bear was tranquilized several times while they tried to safely remove the bear.
According to Norman Police, the bear charged at the game wardens which resulted in its death.
Really? You're telling me this animal that's been pumped with tranquilizers and just fell out of tree charged at game wardens? Not to get all conspiratorial, but that smells like a cover-up. Knowing that we have a bear-killing Governor, I bet something like this played out...
"Governor Stitt, wake up! Law enforcement has captured a black bear in Norman!"
"Bull honkey??!"
"I'm dead serious, sir! Wildlife officials just shot it with tranquilizers and it fell out of the tree! It could be seriously injured."
"Fantastic! Grab my gun and call my taxidermist! It looks like have another one for the trophy case."
Anyway, we'd like to wish our heartfelt condolences to Bear E. Switzer's friends, family and colleagues. He will be missed.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.
