Earlier this week, a social media video purporting to capture Bigfoot leisurely lying against a tree, munching on some branches and twigs in Lawton’s “Parallel Forest,” went viral on the internet.
Unless you believe Bigfoot owns a 1970s Planet of the Apes Halloween costume, the video is obviously fake. But that didn’t stop stupid and stoned people – and the national tabloid news media – from spreading it.
So far, the original TikTok video has been viewed over 7-million times. Check it out:
Once again, that’s obviously not real.
We know this because A) Bigfoot is a cryptid, myth, and legend, and/or B) Bigfoot allegedly lives in and around the dense wilderness of Southeastern Oklahoma, not a man-made forest next to a military base in Lawton!
On that note, why was Bigfoot in Lawton? Was he low on meth? Craving a right-wing Meer’s Burger? Starting a new career as a white rapper?
Nope, he was there to promote the launch of the Bigfoot Vape Shop in Lawton. They’re the masterminds behind the promotional prank:
Let’s give these guys some credit.
I don’t know what type of lab-made, synthetic CBD-marijuana-kratom-bath-salts they’re vaping, but it has to be better than regular marijuana!
You see, one of the best things about marijuana is that it helps your mind generate amazing ideas that you’d never come up with while bored and sober. Unfortunately, the downside is that you usually forget these ideas by the next morning, or worse, the motivation gets wiped out by the munchies or laziness.
Basically, marijuana has its own version of the Fermi Paradox, complete with a series of “great filters” that keep these brilliant ideas from becoming reality.
Whatever they’re inhaling over at this vape shop must break through those filters, leading to real-life conversations like this:
“Hey Knuckles, doesn’t Daryl still have one of them Sasquatch costumes? Let’s get him to put it on and pretend to be Bigfoot and promote the Vape Shop!”
“That’s a killer idea, Jesse. Pass the Slim Jims, bro!”
Seriously, the fact that a couple of dudes from Lawton came up with this idea and willed it into reality is something special. In fact, I'd say it's as rare as a legitimate Bigfoot sighting.
Anyway, I guess if you’re in Lawton and in the mood for CBD or whatever, stop by Bigfoot Head Shop and get a pack of pre-rolls. Be sure to tell them Bigfoot or Knuckles sent ya.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
