Well, I guess the Oklahoma government is no longer responsible for dreaming up the most boring and unoriginal slogan in the state!
Thanks to a tip via The Ogle Mole Network, we’ve learned that Tinker Air Force Base has unleashed a new motto in an attempt to unify its apparently divided uniformed and civilian employees as they prepare for war.
Yes, it’s true!
After months of collaborating with only the best ad agencies, HR consultants, and motivational speakers who wear Bluetooth headsets 24/7, Tinker Air Force Base has a new slogan to unite us all!
Yep, that’s right: Tinker Strong—the same two words a primitive caveman would use to brag about his healthy urine stream.
“Look, Moog! Healthy flow. Tinker Strong!”
According to my Mole, the people who run Tinker are taking the slogan super-duper seriously.
All “uniformed and civilian personnel” are encouraged to use the phrase as a greeting when answering phones, and gate guards are required to say it to every single person getting their ID checked to enter the base.
This forced adoption has led to the motto being mocked and ridiculed on military-focused message boards, Facebook groups, and even inside Midwest City’s own The Celebrity Club.
For example:
I can see why Tinker Strong is getting weak love.
Tinker workers already have to follow a bunch of rules and procedures, and forcing them to conform to the machine by saying “Tinker Strong” when answering the phone seems cheeky, juvenile, and excessive.
Then again, it could always be worse. They could have to greet people like I did when I worked at Chuck E. Cheese in high school:
“We’re making magic here at Chuck E. Cheese on NW Expressway! This is Patrick. How may I help you?”
Seriously, what I wouldn’t have given to be able to answer the phone with a simple and sweet Chuck E. Strong. A mouse can only dream, right?
Tinker Strong is being pushed heavily by the lady who runs Tinker—Colonel Abigail L. W. Ruscetta.
Here’s what she said about it in a press release:
“Tinker is critical to our nation’s defense as a major power projection platform,” said Col. Abby Ruscetta, installation and 72nd Air Base Wing commander. “Every day, the members of Team Tinker are training for their wartime job, and the community is connected in this one great purpose: defending the American way of life against those who would stand against it.”
“We are serving in a time of major challenges—one marked by significant and dangerous shifts in the strategic environment,” said Ruscetta. “Our fight that we have been preparing for is here—we are out of time, and we must focus on the competition, hone our warfighting skills, be unified, and be ready to fight.”
I don’t know if I’m breaking international news here, but is anyone else concerned that the commander of Tinker is trying to rally and motivate the troops in preparations for immediate war? Like, does she know something we don’t? Should the national media know about this?
Here’s more:
“This is what we signed up for,” said Ruscetta. “Whether you’re in uniform, a civilian, or have any tie to the installation and its success, the time is now to come together and prepare to fight and win. We are united through our missions, and we are stronger together. Tinker Strong!”
Yep, that’s what you signed up for. It wasn’t to fix airplanes and fight bad guys like in the Air Force commercials they show during college football games. It was to be forced to say “Tinker Strong” to the cashier at the commissary while buying cheap booze.
Anyway, it will be interesting to see how long employees at Tinker are forced to recite this lame-ass phrase.
Once the newness wears off, these things usually die off pretty fast, so I'd give it a month or two – or until the start of World War 3 – to fade into oblivion.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.
