Back in February, we let everyone know that Swadley’s BBQ – Oklahoma’s “world-famous” smoker of dry meats and excessive management fees – was trying to win back local credibility by sponsoring 405 Rag’s special “Best Of 405” advertorial competition.
As a result of the sponsorship, Swadley’s was comically nominated and highlighted in categories ranging from “Best BBQ” to “Best Breakfast” to even “Best Chef.” For some reason, they were totally left out of “Best Local Government Grifter.”
Well, apparently the ballots have been stuffed and the votes counted, and 405 Rag has released the winners of this year’s totally credible pay-to-play competition. Sadly, Swadley’s failed to win any of the categories they paid money to be in.
For example, Best BBQ went to a worthy winner in Clark Crew, while Best Chef went to the locally acclaimed Andrew Black...
I have no issues with those winners. They’re both good and deserving, but a lot of the other category winners were obviously the result of uninformed voting, ballot stuffing and pay-to-play favoritism.
For example, look who won “Best Craft Beer.”
I’ve been a hard-core connoisseur of craft beer in this market since the industry first started booming 10 years ago. I also have a wide variety of friends with beards, beer guts and home brewing kits in their garage. I have never once in my life ever heard a single one of them say, “Hey, let’s go to Bricktown Brewery for a craft beer!”
Seriously, Bricktown Brewery? I guess they are the O.G. of the Oklahoma craft beer scene, but the only people who would rank their suds number one are either Bricktown Brewery employees and / or Coor’s Light drinkers. It’s absurd, and almost as ridiculous as Ted’s winning “Best Mexican Food.”
If this award was given in 1997 before Ted’s got Hal Smithed into its current form, I wouldn’t have a huge problem with it. But really? There’s no way that Ted’s should be named the best Mexican Food in the 405 – an area code that literally has about 50 Mexican restaurants in any given square mile that are better than Ted’s.
Sure, I can see Ted’s winning “Best Tortilla” – admit it, they are good – or “Best Mexican Food Brought In for New Employee Orientation Training at Paycom,” or, as Brent Swadley would put it, "Best Mexican Food for the White Race," but this award makes me want to change my area code.
Anyway, these are just a couple of the many examples in 405’s rankings that show just how dumb, pointless and ultimately unreliable these “Best Of” competitions can be.
Always remember – They're more about strong-arming businesses into coughing up ad dollars – even the shady ones owned by people who “allegedly” tried to rip off taxpayers – than a legit ranking of the best places our city, state or area code has to offer.
Now that Swadley’s was shut out of the Best of 405’s rankings, I guess they’ll have to stick more traditional methods of advertising to drum up business. You know, like giving away $1,000 in BBQ to The Oklahoman’s readers:
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
