Idle hands do the devil's work.
And lately, US Representative and Oklahoma's second favorite MMA fighter Markwayne Mullin has been busy. Between filling airtime on basic cable television and writing bills that contradict US law, our esteemed congressman has been working hard to make sure no actual meaningful work gets done at the US Capitol.
In fact, here are 6 shenanigans Markwayne Mullin has been up to over the last month!
Running for Jim Inhofe's Seat
A few weeks ago, our esteemed US House Representative Markwayne Mullin announced he planned to bring his fight against the liberal socialist policies of Nancy Pelosi to the other side of the chamber by running for Jim Inhofe's soon-to-be vacant Senate Seat. According to a recent survey, Markwayne currently has the plurality of Oklahoma voters' support in the Senate race. Being that Markwayne hasn’t successfully utilized a rear-naked choke to defeat an opponent since 2006, he’s having to work to stack his deck against his opponents by...
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Expunging Trump’s Impeachment
What better way to “set history straight” and earn the conservative voter support in the state of Oklahoma than negating Trump’s impeachment? The only way Markwayne could better appeal to this base would be to allow Fox News to live stream him getting a lower back tattoo of the 45th president (a “Trump” stamp, if you will), while he shoots shots of ranch dressing each time he correctly quotes a passage from the King James version of the Gospel according to John. Instead he’s letting Fox News live stream him…
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Passing on messages from Walt Disney from beyond the grave
In last week’s interview with Fox News, Markwayne Mullin declared that Walt Disney would not approve of his company speaking out against Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill. It’s hard to tell if Markwayne is right about this statement, but if he really is speaking for Walt Disney, we’d probably hear more outrage from the cartoonist against non-white employees being seen in his parks than anything. Being that Markwayne is busy holding seances for Mickey Mouse’s dad, he’s been forced to…
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Sit out the Ukrainian crisis
Remember when Markwayne took the Afghanistan crisis into his own hands and tried to persuade officials to let him enter the country to initiate his own rescue mission? Well even though he never got the chance to chokeslam the Taliban, Markwayne has publicly stated that he has no plans to try to personally intervene in the Ukrainian battle against the Russian invasion. Instead, he’s using his congressional superpowers to…
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Fight for our Goddang American right to join a foreign legion
Markwayne has recently sponsored a bill that would allow American citizens to fight alongside the Ukrainian military in the struggle against invading Russian forces. Markwayne stated that this bill would allow Americans to help their Ukrainian counterparts fight off a "communist takeover." It seems safe to say that Markwayne is as qualified to speak about international relations as he is qualified to...
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Join a roundtable discussion on Women in Entrepreneurship
Markwayne was more than happy to be the only male congressperson taking part in a series of Women’s Entrepreneurship Roundtable discussions that took place last month. Because everyone knows if you are going to push for equality and equal representation in the realm of business, straight, white, conservative men need a platform more than anyone.
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Oklahoma's favorite MMA fighter is Jake Hager. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.
