Like every red-blooded Oklahoman that pays their bills as on-time as they desperately can—give or take a shut-off notice or two—the one bill that always surprises me, and never in a good way, is OGE. I have to take their lawgiving word on the said amount I owe, mostly because there are no other electric companies to provide me with the absolute power I so desperately need to live a fast-paced modern life like I pretend to.
In other words, it’s their way or the unlit, darkened, possibly haunted highway.
But, as I’ve long accepted that fact this is how an energy monopoly works in my immediate area, I’ll admit I tend to look forward to the small bonuses they give their electrical contingency, the best being the overbilling credits that surprisingly pop up on your ledger, taking a few dollars right off the top. The worst being, of course, an additional charge from many years ago that they have surprisingly just found and added to your bill with an additional late fee.
However, last Friday in Norman, OGE passed out boxes of Girl Scout Cookies with area deliveries of Meal on Wheels. We know this because they issued a cheery press release to the local media they give money to in the form of advertising to brag about it, which the local media then relayed to their viewers.
From KFOR:
“OG&E has a culture of giving back, so it is no surprise the company decided to support our leadership programming for girls by making a bulk cookie order,” said Shannon Evers, CEO of Girl Scouts Western Oklahoma. “OG&E’s decision to pay it forward by donating those cookies to Meals on Wheels is next level generosity. Thanks to OG&E, some of our community’s most vulnerable citizens will get Girl Scout Cookies along with their regular meal delivery from Meals on Wheels. In return, local Girl Scouts will have more leadership programming opportunities. It’s a win-win.”
OG&E employees served or delivered more than 1,500 meals to senior living community residents and homebound seniors this summer. They added the Girl Scout cookies as part of their regular monthly deliveries in Norman on Friday morning.
Yes, everyone, the monopoly that left tens of thousands of Oklahomans without power for weeks back in October because they weren't prepared for an ice storm – and hasn't developed a plan to prevent future massive power outages from ice storms in the future – has a culture of giving back! Everybody, please stand up and applaud OGE for their selfless gift of sugary treats! I sure do hope this blissful feeling of charity continues and they deliver Boy Scouts’ Christmas Trees to the homeless this winter!
As wonderful of a gift as Girl Scout Cookies are—and don’t get me wrong, they really are—I would much rather receive them from someone I didn’t owe money to every month under penalty of the loss of said electricity, especially if I was disabled, elderly or just a person who enjoy free lunches in general.
While it was a nice surprise, it was also a gift that you’ll probably pay for on your next bill and never have any proof of it. To paraphrase a popular saying, there’s no such thing as a free box of Girl Scout Cookies.
Look, OGE: if you’re really trying to selflessly help people that require food assistance from Meals on Wheels—or really any charity in general—my first idea would be to subtract ten or so dollars from their bill each month, roughly the price of a box or two of Girl Scout Cookies.
Maybe, just maybe, then those who need the assistance could at least afford a trip to their doctor, a better selection of groceries or, you know, pay off the rest of that fucking OGE bill that’s coming up fast.
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Follow Louis on Twitter at @LouisFowler and Instagram at @louisfowler78.
