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Nathan Dahm is getting married…

10:57 AM EDT on May 18, 2021

We have bad news for all the MAGA boys and ladies out there!

Earlier today, we acquired through the Ogle Mole Network a wedding reception invitation for notorious Oklahoma State Senator Nathan Dahm!

He's the guy who's in the news every few weeks for saying or doing something stupid. He was ranked 7th in our Top Derplahomans of the 2010s, 17th in our Top 25 Oklahoma Covidiots and #1 in our most recent ranking of the Next Oklahoma lawmaker to be caught in a southside hotel room with... well... nevermind.

Anyway, while he's been out n' about Derplahomaning it out, pandering to his tribe, and looking for ways to troll the media, it looks like he finally found a nice woman to settle down with and mansplain the constitution to. Her name is Christina Mills, and they both like sweaters.

THAT IS ADORABLE. Who knew Nathan could clean up so well and look so... Hobby Lobby? I'm sure he catches all the old ladies' eyes at church on Sunday.

Seriously, though, that really is sweet. It makes you wonder if there's a more kind and sensitive side of Nathan we don't get to see on a daily basis... or that maybe he's trying really hard to cover something up.

Here's the back of the invite. I guess he invited everyone in the Oklahoma Senate, apparently unaware that everyone in the Oklahoma Senate doesn't like him...

Give Dahm some credit here! He resisted the urge to be a stick-it-to-the-libs funny guy and call it the "Kamala Harris Come and Go Reception."

For giggles, I went to their page on The Knot. I found some more great photos. For example, here's one where he's explaining that the gender pay gap is a myth...

And this one where they're recreating their first date...

And this one where he recites his favorite lines from The Fountainhead before they make love...

You can view and laugh at all the soy boy sides of Nathan here.

While you're there, you can also buy gifts from their gift registry. They're registered at the typical mix of places, but surprisingly, Big Lots, Bass Pro and Swadley's weren't on the list. Instead of buying a gift, I'd suggest sending them a box of paper straws or, better yet, making a donation to Planned Parenthood in Dahm's honor.

If you're an asshole, you can also RSVP for the reception. If you do, make sure to use the name Hugh Janus. It's what all the people at the capitol call Dahm, so he'll get the joke.

Anyway, I guess I'm going to wrap this up. I wish Nathan and Christina the best of luck and hope they eventually figure out how to make lots of babies.

Also, if anyone considers this write-up mean or inappropriate, don't worry – I've been assured my jokes are hilarious.

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