After a day of doctor’s appointments (and disappointments) last week, having given all the blood and other bodily fluids I possible could, I needed to come back from a required two-day fast. From the dark corners of my reddened eyes I spotted the ramshackle signage of the Wholly Guacamole Kitchen, 9015 S.E. 29th St. in Midwest City, and decided to give it a try.
Like most places these days, even though it seemed closed for business, I still tugged on the door and it miraculously opened, with various drawings of the anthropomorphic avocado dancing his way straight into a molcajete, a wide smile on his gloppy face. Believe me…at the moment, I understood that avocado and his need to give the people his precious innards.
In tribute to the Mexican fruit, as I looked over the quaint menu, I decided to keep with the green theme and do, if you will, an all guac special where I can really involve myself with the mythical taste that it’s truly famous for. As I gulped my second glass of life-giving ice water, my appetizer quickly came out, the self-titled Wholly Guacamole ($6.99).
The guacamole was extra chunky, the way I truly seem to like most things in life, each chip filled with a helping of fresh avocado, tomatoes, onions and, by God, queso fresco, making for a delicious appetizer that already earns the place a seal of approval. That being said, I was outdone by my next order, the Guacamole Salad ($8.99).
I’ve had something called guacamole salad at a fine dining place downtown and was left undeniably trampled by disappointment, so when their Guacamole Salad sat before me, a fried tortilla bowl filled with diced tomatoes, fresh lettuce, thin cuts of cheese, as well as three insanely large scoops of guacamole, I have to admit that it was the perfect salad for someone like myself.
Still, after a few tantalizing bites, I had to push it away in order to make room for the Tex-Mex monstrosity of grease-drenched debauchery, the Wholly Guacamole Special Dinner ($13.99). Taking up two whole plates of unsubtle stuffing, the meal included, for me, a beef enchilada, a pork tamale, a beef taco, a bean tostada, as well as rice, beans and the requisite scoop of guac.
While there was no possible way I could finish this dinner tonight—I would definitely be packing up most of this stuff—I was able to take various tastes of each eat at peak freshness, like the firm taco, gooey enchilada or the meaty tamale, bringing a sense of true joy—no matter how misplaced or maladjusted—to my miserable life.
When offered to me, I almost took in what I’m sure is a fantastic sopapilla, but breathlessly decided against it, instead feeling firm and feeling full at exploring the wild world of the peeled avocado and it’s smashed guacamole insides. Really, I surmised, it’s all I truly need some days. Cómpralo ya!
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