Even though some individuals aren’t convinced the 2020 presidential election is quite over yet, as of today it’s officially been a whole month since Election Day! Though it seemed like everyone and their great-aunt was sharing “Vote!” memes and statuses on social media for the month leading up to it, Oklahoma had the lowest voter turnout of any state in the great US of A. We here at TLO think this statistic is unacceptable. So here are our 7 ideas to increase voter turnout in Oklahoma!
Start Up a “Book It” Type Program
If every time an Oklahoman casted a vote they received one of ten metallic stickers needed for a free personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut, voter turnout for 2021 would be record-breaking.
Put Polling Places in Casinos
Disorienting carpet choices, no clocks, and flowing booze make time pass by like nothing. Changing polling locations to casinos may not necessarily cut down on the length of time voters have to stand in line, but the casino atmosphere will let time fly by like a paycheck in the Sex and The City Ultra slot machine.
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Make Election Day a Holiday
When some voting lines in Oklahoma take more than 2 hours to get through, people may choose or are forced to stay at work rather than vote. So, make Election Day a holiday! No, it won’t solve all of Oklahoma’s election problems. But it wouldn’t be the most useless day of reverence Oklahoma has ever had.
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Put Joe Exotic Back on the Ballot
You know Oklahomans would flock to the polls for the ability to vote for good ole Joseph Schreibvogel Maldonado-Passage one more time. He may be a novelty at this point, but he wouldn’t be the worst leader in the Oklahoma ruling establishment.
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Allow Election Day Voter Registration
Research suggests that allowing Election Day voter registration significantly increases voter turnout. As of now, Oklahomans have to register to vote at least 25 days before an election. With a different megachurch minister preaching the end of times every single Sunday, it’s easy to see why Oklahomans don’t plan far enough in advance to register to vote in time.
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Lie
As in the case of decreasing hospital bed availability, if our esteemed governor has taught us anything it’s that if you don’t like the numbers, you can just make some up. In that case, you’re hearing it here first that Oklahoma actually has the highest voter turnout in the nation.
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Offer a Pizza Party to the Political Party with the Largest Turnout
I know I put pizza on this list twice. I just assumed all Oklahomans are very food-motivated because I am an Oklahoman who is very food-motivated.
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Hayley kicked ass in the Book-It program. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.
