Earlier this week, word came out that Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt and US Senators James Lankford and Jim Inhofe – the Three Amigos of the Oklahoma GOP – would be gathering at a castle on the west side of Oklahoma City to raise money for a US Senate election being held in a state that's 850 miles away.
The event is called "Help Us Keep The Georgia Senate Seats Red" and goes down this Saturday afternoon from noon to 1:30pm. The cost is only $1,000 to $5,000 per couple – sorry, no singles – and comes with everything you look for at a high-priced political event that raises money for another state, like live music, photo ops and, uhm, Swadley's BBQ.
Here's the poster that's making the rounds on social media:
I don't hate Swadley's as much as other people do. In my book, even okay BBQ is serviceable BBQ. Then again, for $1,000 a pop and the risk of catching Covid from SuperSpreader Stitt, I'd expect something better like Clark Crew or Happy Hog. Seriously, Swadley's??? Are they raising money for Georgia or bringing in lunch for employees going through a day of new payroll training?
You may notice that one of the hosts for the event is renowned/deranged OKC socialite Crazy Carol Hefner and her husband, Robert Hefner IV. Parking cars at the event will be their son, Robert "Spaulding" Hefner V.
I'm poor and liberal, so I'm not sure what a host or hostess does at a fundraiser like this, but with the Hefner's involved, it pretty much guarantees there will be plenty of homemade Olive Garden imposter salad dressing on-hand to liven up the meal. I wonder if she's finally mastered the technique? Either way, it will taste better than the Galiyucko sauce they force their rich friends to carry at grocery stores.
In addition to live music and the chance of seeing Jim Inhofe catch Covid, I'm not sure what other forms of entertainment will be on hand. Maybe they'll do what some comedy clubs do and show funny videos and memes on projector screens in between acts! That would be a good idea. Then Carol could share videos of her favorite police shootings, or the funny, racist memes and hot takes she's shared on Facebook over the years:
Seriously, I bet the crowd – especially Senator Inhofe – would get a chuckle out of all that. I can see them giggling and laughing while chowing down on dry brisket, tough spare ribs, and soggy fried okra, all while spraying their Covid particles into the castle air, through the drawbridge, and back into the always strong Oklahoma wind.
Anyway, if you'd like to fork over a rent payment or three to help a political party win an election in a state that's a 15-hour drive away, you can email bill@thecedargate.com for tickets. Enjoy the BBQ!
