If you haven’t heard by now, Oklahoma is officially open. As fighter jets soar in the skies above to remind us of our check-cashing freedoms, in this mostly lost year of 2020, the names of bargain barber shops and half-price appetizers ring across the fields of waved-out wheat, where we have decided as a state that the curve is flattened enough to fully return to our old lives of oil and gas, sin and debauchery.
The golden calf of commercialism shall rise again and save our very souls!