Over the past couple of weeks, I have stood patiently in line, roughly six feet apart from other customers, to get into stores such as Target and Trader Joe’s. And as mildly annoying as I’m sure it was for most people, no one in the lines I waited in were truly vocal about their oppressive hatred for it until this week at, of course, an area Walmart.
He was a somewhat jacked dude complete with a collegiate golf-shirt and neon shades; even though we were in line for really only five or so minutes, he tried his damndest to rally the afternoon shoppers into some sort of low-rent consumer mutiny, one that included angry buzzwords such as “China,” “communist,” and “fucking bread lines.”
When I noticed him later in the store, he was purchasing Reese’s Pieces cereal and specially marked Trolls: World Tour Oreos, both symbols of our new American freedom.
After viewing that recent spate of anger, one that has inspired states to return to a pre-virus continuity—cemented here in Oklahoma by Governor Stitt’s proclamation yesterday that this thing is basically over—I’ve come to give up and give in that we live in a state that pisses tainted blood on medicine, science and health in general; we would rather have cheap oil and cheaper haircuts, apparently.
As much as I hate to say it, I guess the only way people are going to see that this pandemic is actually a terrifying ordeal is to have either a loved one or, more pointedly, they themselves become sickly with Covid-19, especially when it heads back around in a brutal second wave, gasping into a respirator for dear life.
But hey, at least we got our borders closed, collected about $1200 bucks and defeated those socialists and their satanic bread Oreo lines. Maybe soon I’ll be able to return to reviewing restaurants or, at the very least, die trying.
Meanwhile, yesterday Godhead Trump suggested that people inject themselves with cleaning supplies.
Speaking of those $1200 checks, have you received your stimulus funds yet?
As I predicted here a few weeks ago, I still haven’t and many people I’ve spoken to haven’t gotten them either. While they could have definitely used it—especially the people in my neighborhood that are barely making it, including the disabled, the undocumented and the elderly—it doesn’t seem like it's coming anytime soon.
One single mother that I usually see on my walks told me that she’s given up hope on that cash. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I never had any.
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Follow Louis on Twitter at @LouisFowler and Instagram at @louisfowler78.
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