One of the defining parts of a college experience are the educators. They can make or break your time there and generally get you through school with minor emotional scars. These are 10 types of professors you'll encounter at during your time at OU.
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1.) The Comedian
This professor has been working on their fit five for the past decade and has never come close to making a student laugh. They may even use local hot-takes to spice things up. "My sinuses are more blocked up than Lindsey St. on game day." - an actual quote from one of my professors. Not a single chuckle was heard.
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2.) The "You're Wrong" One
Ever want to feel like the biggest idiot before 9 a.m.? They will provoke students to answer and then verbally berate them until they ether run out of breath or lose their train of thought. This person may also be known as the "Ego-Stroker."
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3.) The Sooner Football Fanatic
You will never not see this professor in some sort of OU attire as if he's being sponsored by the university. He praises Bob Stoops like a god and knows all the current statistics of every football player. He'll most likely refer to you as "hey, you."
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4.) The Intimidator
This professor most likely gets their rocks off at scaring freshman or turning a student into a blubbering pile of tears. Though they are accurate in that the job market in Oklahoma is rough; they will tell you that, with your grades and attitude, you'll never make it out in the "real world."
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5.) The Creep
From OU theater to administration, these lurking predators like to use their authority to get closer to unsuspecting students. The only difference between them and the eerie people-watchers in public is that one is getting paid.
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6.) The Sooner Wikipedia Page
This professor's voice might as well be vocal birth control. Sure, they know about the entire history of the university and how it changes; however, their droning, chalkboard scratching voice will give you the sudden urge to dance in I-40 traffic.
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7.) A Former Student
They have seen what "the real world" is like and said, "Holy shit, I have to warn these sweet, stupid students about this." These professors are the most real, down-to-Earth people you'll ever know. You can find them skateboarding to class and joking about which professors to avoid.
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8.) The Recruiter
They may be nice at first but, before you know it, you're recruiting others to participate in something inherently meaningless. Efforts to entice you with job recommendations and training will be used but avoid at all costs.
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9.) The Norman Native
Good news- They're more generous towards Oklahomans when it comes to grading.
Bad news- If you hang around Norman outside of class, you'll probably see them as they attempt to avoid you.
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10.) One that wants to see you succeed
Cherish these professors. They're living proof that not everyone is greedy and some want to help you. They'll try to send you out of state in the hopes that you make something better of yourself than here. Listen to them carefully.
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Brandon wishes he had Professor X to teach him about superpowers. Follow him on Twitter @notshabbywriter and Instagram @brandonking1994.
