Oklahoma lawmakers are still holding true to their immature, frat house ways.
We've learned via the Ogle Mole Network that our old pal Paul Scott – the embarrassing Republican State Senator from Duncan who cyberbullies his own constituents – was forced to issue a formal apology to the Senate for playing an immature, childish prank on brand-new Democratic Senate colleague Carri Hicks.
Here are the details...
One morning back in February, Paul Scott tippy-toed into the Senate before session and unscrewed a roller on Carri Hicks's chair. He also hid her microphone. There's no word on if he put tape under her mouse, or encased her stapler in Jell-O .
Later that morning, when Hicks arrived for work and attempted to take her seat, the chair gave way, causing Carri to fall to the floor. Startled, confused and hoping she didn't just flash the world in her dress, she left the Senate chambers to compose herself like a Bachelor contestant who learned she didn't receive a rose.
Usually, after playing a stupid prank like that, the culprit will come forward, help the victim laugh it off, and then everyone will go play on the big toy at recess. As least that's how things worked when I was in elementary school.
Paul Scott, on the other hand, does things a little differently. As opposed to admitting that he committed the prank, or even (gasp!) apologizing, he went silent and didn't fess up. Classy, huh?
As a result, the Senate launched a formal investigation and pulled video to see who removed the roller from the chair. Soon after, Scott admitted guilt, and issued this non-apology apology to Senate Chairman Jason Smalley:
Speaking of "un-professional," I'm pretty sure the word doesn't require a hyphen. I obviously have no problem with an occasional typo, wrong "there," or even using an apostrophe as a plural, but "un-professional?" Who writes it like that? I think that accurately describes the in-telligence level we're dealing with here.
Anyway, I tried to locate video of either Carri's fall or Paul Scott sneaking through Senate chambers like he was about to go on a panty raid, but the Senate website is an ancient debacle and doesn't have archived video footage. If someone can locate it, please send it our way.
In the meantime, here are a few additional thoughts and notes.
• Not to be Captain Obvious, but it must really suck to be a woman working at the capitol. Not only do you have to deal with sexual harassment and all that stuff, but now you have to worry about lawmakers putting a whoopie cushion in your seat or gum in your hair.
• I should probably mention that Carri's husband, Spencer Hicks, is a friend and former TLO contributor and trivia host. Was Scott's prank a passive aggressive attempt to get back at TLO for acknowledging that his wife resembles Monica Lewinsky? I hope so, that way I won't feel as guilty when we get our prank revenge. It should be fun.