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Oil Overlords Meet with Political Minions in Secret Closed Door Meeting!!!

Looking for a friendly reminder about who controls Oklahoma? Well today is your lucky day!

On Friday night, members of the local Oklahoma ruling class had a secret closed-door meeting with powerful elected officials to, presumably, help set the agenda and tax policies for the 2nd special legislative session that starts later today.

Here are the details via The Journal Record:

Crap. I forgot The Journal Record still hides all content that's not a Ted Streuli editorial behind a paywall. That's so behind the times that it's almost ahead of the times. I guess if you wait around and don't change, you'll suddenly become a trendsetter.

Since I don't feel like paying $199 to read two or three news articles a year, we can only speculate what happened at the meeting. Knowing what we know about Oklahoma overlords and their political minions, that's actually not very hard to do. I bet the meeting went something like this:

Elected Officials: We'll do anything you want as long as you continue to fund our campaigns, defeat our enemies, and set us up with great jobs once we're term-limited.

Oil Overlords: But what if our plan only benefits the wealthy and large corporations, continues to underfund core government services, and raises taxes on middle class and lower income families?

Elected Officials: That's perfect! It was our plan anyway. Can you get The Oklahoman on the phone? We'll need some help developing propaganda that tries to sugarcoat everything into a  positive message, and, hopefully, place blame on the Democrats."

Actually, there would be no need to call The Oklahoman. That's because "The State's Most Trusted News" was represented at the meeting:

Yeah, that has to be #FakeNews. The Oklahoman, which has a long history of objectivity and is not in any way a propaganda outlet for the GOP, would never compromise it's journalistic values by participating in a meeting like that. It's why the teacher below trusts them more than Buzzfeed or Facebook, and knows the paper is where to go for "true facts" and to see "what's really happening:"

If anything, I would bet that Gary Pierson – The Oklahoman's C.E.O. – was on hand as a secret undercover agent to gather facts and information for a bombshell report that will expose how oil overlords and other members of the Oklahoma ruling class use their status and money to control politicians, set our disastrous policies, and run the state into the toilet. You know, kind of like this one in The Guardian or this one by Reuters. I look forward to reading it for less than $199 in The Oklahoman very soon.

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