Back in November of 2015, Kevin Durant – now the greatest villain in Oklahoma sports history – was inducted into the Oklahoma Hall of Fame. At that time, I asked the question that everyone else was thinking:
What exactly does it take to kick someone out of the Oklahoma Hall of Fame? I’m just curious. But seriously, is there some rule or provision that lets you expel someone if they break the state’s collective hearts by betraying everyone and moving elsewhere before winning a title? Let’s be honest–it seems like it would be a good rule to have…. just in case something bad happens.
Guess what. Something bad happened:
Yep, the 11 month nightmare of being an Oklahoma City Thunder fan finally came to a cruel and predictable end last night when Kevin Durant, the phony 28 year-old two-faced turncoat who betrayed an entire state and community, coasted to the NBA championship with the support of his traveling band of golden sharpshooting All Stars.
I decided to watch the final quarter of last night's game as a form of twisted immersion therapy, and it got me thinking about that same question I asked a couple of years ago – How do we remove Kevin Durant from the Hall of Fame? Is there a form we fill out? Do we have to file a petition? If so, I already did. Go sign it.
If this whole idea reeks of bitterness and sour grapes, that's because it does. I'm not going to lie. My motivation is petty and personal, but I think it's deserved. There are actually some legitimate reasons to revoke Kevin's Hall of Fame credentials...
The most obvious is that he was never really an Oklahoman. Sure, he lived here part-time for the eight years, but that wasn't his choice. He came to this state because he had to, and left at the very first opportunity. Who cares that he fucked up our collective basketball hopes and dreams in the process, is that the type of "Oklahoman" we want to honor in our Hall of Fame? I don't think so.
(Granted, you could say the same about Hall of Fame inductees who were born in Oklahoma and then left the state as they navigated through a successful life, but at least they had to endure the pain and suffering of being born and raised in Oklahoma. Kevin Durant never did.)
To be clear, I don't think we should make a big deal about the revocation of Kevin's membership. That looks bad. I say we just take the high road and move his plaque to the basement, and scrub any KD mentions from the Oklahoma Hall of Fame website. Basically, phase him out and pretend the Hall of Fame thing never happened. That strategy worked pretty well with Thunderstruck.
Of course, what do we do once he's out? Do we replace him with someone else?
The snoots at Non Doc seem to think electric guitar pioneer Charlie Christian should be in the Hall. I don't have a problem with that, but I doubt that would happen. The Oklahoma Hall of Fame doesn't have the highest regards for dead people. For example, know who's finally being inducted into the Oklahoma Hall of Fame this year? Sequoyah. Yeah, that's right. The dude that half the buildings and schools in the state are named after wasn't in the Oklahoma Hall of Fame. That's just stupid. Did he bet on baseball or something?
On that note, maybe we should just start a petition to eliminate the Oklahoma Hall of Fame. The fact the KD was allowed in, while more worthy Oklahomans were denied, says everything about the legitimacy and standards of that organization. At the very least, it will prevent us from having to do this all over again when Westbrook joins LeBron in Boston in a couple of years.
