Take cover, folks. We have another severe spray tan warning in the Oklahoma City Metro.
Over the weekend, Severe Weather Princess Emily Sutton shared this pic of her hunky fireman husband Michael on Instagram. It's very concerning:
Well, that's not good. In case you're wondering why Michael looks like a cross between a tangerine and Wolverine (and appears to be walking around a middle school hallway with his shirt off), it's because he's officially entered the world of professional bodybuilding.
Yeah, that's right. He's going all Aaron Tuttle on us.
The pic was apparently snapped at the NANBF Natural Bodybuilding Championship in Tulsa. I guess it's for bodybuilders who only use 100% organic and preservative-free hormone creams and whey protein powders. According to Emily, Michael won a pro card at the event and took home the crown of Mr. Oklahoma. Here's video of Michael flexing his muscles, making constipated bodybuilding faces, and being awarded what I assume they call the pee-cup trophy.
That's nice! Since we know nothing about the art of bodybuilding (or exercise), we asked a local enthusiast for his thoughts on Michael's pecs and poses. This was his response:
Seriously though, Emily's Sutton husband is a bodybuilder now? That's just weird. Aaron Tuttle's had the meteorological muscle-building market cornered in this market for years. Couldn't Michael have dove into a different douchebag hobby like Crossfit or MMA instead? He should expect a letter from Aaron's attorneys very soon.
I wonder what inspired Michael to do this. Here are two theories:
1. He enjoys staying in shape, eating healthy and lifting weights. Seems logical.
2. It's all part of an undercover plan by Emily to acquire Aaron Tuttle's secret online forecasting algorithms. According to the Ogle Mole Network, Aaron keeps a set of complicated, proprietary weather forecasting formulas that are designed to garner more Facebook likes and shares than a typical forecast stored in a flash drive in his gym bag. Maybe Michael's going to try to steal these plans at the next competition so Emily Sutton can use them for good and not evil? Just a thought.
Anyway, I guess we'll just wait and see how all this plays out. Hopefully, this is a close as Michael gets to becoming AT 2.0. I'm really not in the mood to get sued again.
That being said, how do we get Aaron Tuttle and Michael to go head-to-head in a pay per view body building challenge? Is it like "The List" in Street Outlaws where one has to challenge the other to a flex-off? If so, they should make it happen. For the undercard, we could have Emily and JoJo compete in a mini-triathlon. Who wouldn't watch?
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