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WHERE’S THE BEEF! Braum’s removes 1/3-lb burgers from menu!

6:56 AM EDT on May 2, 2017

From their farm to their store, Braum's no longer gives you so much more!

Yesterday, we received reports via the Ogle Mole Network that the venerable Braum's – Oklahoma's premier chain of fast food restaurants where quality is guaranteed 50% of the time – has removed its famed 1/3-pound burger from the menu and replaced it with a run-of-the-mill 1/4 pounder for the same price. For those doing math at home, that's 8% less beef!

Here are some Facebook comments complaining about the change:

Want to have some time-killing LOL fun? Check out the various complaints about Braum's food preparation, dining rooms, and other staples like confused cashiers on the company's Facebook page. They're great!

I called the Braum's customer service hotline to confirm the beef decrease. I had the following conversation with an annoyed customer service rep:

"Question for you. I heard you have removed the 1/3 pound hamburgers from the menu? Is that true."

"We now have 1/4 pound hamburgers."

"But what about 1/3-pounders?"

"We now have 1/4 pound hamburgers."

"When did this go into effect?"

"Yesterday."

"Okay, thanks."

Even though I haven't had a Braum's burger in a year or two thanks to my new quasi-vegetarian diet, this is sad news. The Braum's 1/3-pound cheeseburger wrapped in its old golden-foil packaging was a staple of my childhood! As a poor kid living on the south side, my dad would walk me and my brother from our little house on the corner of SW 33rd and Santa Fe to the Braum's on SE 32nd and Shields. The order was almost always the same – 1/3-pound cheeseburger with ketchup only. Then, while listening to elevator music and avoiding the sticky hot fudge spot on the table, we'd eat cheap, greasy hamburgers in a white, pink and blue heaven.

Over the years, my order evolved into the more grown-up "1/3-pound cheeseburger with no pickles and ketchup instead of mayo," which would usually be followed by a confused cashier asking "Do you still want special sauce?," and me saying "Yes," and then coming home to find a bacon cheeseburger with only pickles and extra mayo. I guess that's always been part of Braum's charm. No matter what you order, you never really know what you were going to get. It's always a surprise!

But... I digress. Braum's got rid of the 1/3-pound burger??! How's that even possible? Is nothing sacred? What's next? Changing the 1/6 pound "snackburger" to a 1/8-pounder patty? Replacing crinkle-cut fries with a more generic straight-line variety? Wait. They actually tried that in the past. I don't think it lasted long.

I checked the Braum's website to see if they updated the menu with the new details, or had any statement regarding the controversy. It looks like they scrubbed any reference to 1/3-pound patties from the site. Check out how they describe their hamburger:

Braum’s Hamburgers are delicious! They are made with a 100 percent pure beef patty seasoned and cooked to perfection! Add lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions, mayonnaise and special sauce on a sesame seed bun baked fresh in the Braum’s own bakery! It’s a ‘homestyle’ burger that’ll make your mouth water!

This is how they describe the cheeseburger. Check out the difference a slice of American cheese makes:

Braum’s Cheeseburgers aren’t for the faint of heart! They’re big…really big and delicious! We start with a 100 percent pure beef. Then we add lots of real dairy cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, mayonnaise & special sauce. All this on a sesame seed bun baked fresh in the Braum’s own bakery! Try one today (if you dare)!

LOL. "If you dare?" I'm not Don Draper or anything, but should ordering a cheeseburger sound like a risky (or risqué) endeavor? Cheese is great, but it's not that exciting.

Anyway, The Lost Ogle has changed a lot over the last 10 years, but one thing has always remained the same – using Braum's as a punchline. This is because A) It's deserved, B) They make it easy and C) The jokes are relatable. Seriously, Braum's is the restaurant Oklahomans love to hate! In fact, the easiest way to tell if someone is a true Oklahoman is ask them (if you dare) to tell you a funny story about a visit to Braums. If they don't have one, they lose any and all Oklahoma street cred.

On that note, I hope these punchlines are able to continue, stay relevant and don't devolve into straight nostalgia. A fast food chain cutting portion sizes but leaving prices the same is not a good sign. With American food and dining habits changing so quickly, you kind of have to wonder if Braum's is doing okay. Let's be honest. They always seem to be stuck about 20-years in the past, and most of their stores resemble glorified retirement communities. Hopefully they're able to keep things going in these ever-changing times.

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