People have always given me grief about the way I eat my hamburgers.
You see, because my father was a longtime police officer, he told me to always check your burger layer by layer because you never know who’s going to spit in it. Subsequently, if you’re ever eating delicious burgers with me, you’ll notice I’m doing it up layer—bun, tomato, cheese, meat, etc.—by layer, confirming that each level of that flame-broiled taste sensation lacks things that will gross you out in the morning.