Skip to Content
Everything Else

Aaron Tuttle to appear on “Say Yes to The Dress.” Seriously.

9:09 AM EDT on September 15, 2016

aaron-tuttle-say-yes-to-dress

It's been one month since Aaron Tuttle launched a $65,000 Go Fund Me to help "Save AT's Weather." Some time has passed since our write-up – and now that Aaron has made arrangements to pay our lawyers at Dunlap Codding the $25,000 he owes them – I guess I should provide a little update on things.

Here we go...

1. The Go Fund Me is no longer online. When I last checked about a week or two ago, the campaign had raised about $5,000 or so. Now it's gone. I guess that means Aaron took the donations and ran, or better yet, bought a couple of months worth of spray tan solution from Sam's.

2. Aaron is not a fan of Mr. Hugh Janus. If you remember correctly, we encouraged Ogle Moles to support Aaron's cause by leaving a donation in the name of Hugh Janus. I think we raised about $150 dollars. Because Aaron is a massively huge anus with no sense of humor, he changed all the donations to "Anonymous" but kept all the money.

3. Aaron Tuttle earns $96,000 dollars a year as a FAA weatherman. Oh yeah! I guess I never mentioned that Aaron Tuttle is a federal employee working for the FAA. That means his salary is a public record. According to websites that list those salaries, Aaron Tuttle's government salary is $96,651. In fact, he's earned over $85,000 a year since 2010! For some reason, Aaron didn't share that info in his Go Fund Me. Instead, he complained about driving a beat up Nissan Pathfinder and told us "it's better to give than receive." Spoken like true hypocrite, huh?

4. Aaron and his professional body-building fiance Melissa Pearo are flying to New York to be on an episode of "Say Yes to The Dress." That's 100% true, or at least it is according to Melissa's Facebook page.

Check it out:

aaron-tuttle-yes-to-dress

I think Melissa forgot a couple of hashtags at the bottom of her post, such as #whatamidoing, #hugemistake, and #Imsurethiswillendwell.

Seriously, I guess life really is stranger than fiction. Aaron Tuttle is going to be on "Say Yes To The Dress." I'm sure that was a pretty easy casting decision...

Producer: And here we have Melissa and Aaron. She's a professional bodybuilder and software engineer. He's a Facebook weatherman with anger management issues. How are you doing today, Melissa?"

Melissa: Fine, thank you. I'm really looking forward to the opportunity of being on "Say Yes To The Dress." I want to see if you can turn this muscular girl into a Princess Bride!

Producer: Ha! That's cute! I love the "Princess Bride. How are you, Aaron? Or should I say, "Dread Pirate Roberts."

Aaron: WHAT?!?!? Did you just call me a PIRATE?!! I'm BANNING you on FACEBOOK!!! Go ride a Harley... Pussy!

Producer: Please sign this contract now!

Anyway, I think I'm going to avoid any more jokes and/or additional "I think they'd be a better fit for Bridezillas" commentary on this one. This is because A) they're not needed. This is hysterical enough on its own. And B), I really don't like to write about Aaron's fiance all that much. My beef is with him. Not her. Plus, I've watched enough She-Ra to know that you don't fuck with a body building warrioresses. That's a classic blunder. It's about as smart as getting involved in a land war in Asia, or filing a frivolous lawsuit against a blog. It never ends well.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter