In case you missed it, Joe Exotic officially announced his presidential candidacy last Monday at what I think was a Hampton Inn outside the Columbus, Ohio airport. You may think it's odd that he announced his candidacy in a state that's 1,000 miles away from his zoo in Wynnewood, but then again, this is the same man who owned Michael Jackson's alligators and markets his own line of sexual aids. Announcing a presidential run in Ohio is one of the more normal things this guy has ever done.
Here's the announcement from his Facebook page. If Joe becomes president, maybe he'll be able to afford a tripod and bigger campaign poster:
Press speech today in Ohio. Please share. This is about fighting for everyone.
Posted by Joe Schreibvogel on Monday, November 23, 2015
So be honest. How far did you make it in? 12-seconds? Half a minute? One whole minute? I actually skimmed through entire thing. It was like watching the world's saddest Ted Talk. Now I know how people who watched the video from The Ring feel. The best part is actually the last 10 seconds. Joe finishes his speech, looks around at the audience, and then is greeted by a smattering of applause that sounds as genuine as an O-K-C chant at Chesapeake Arena.
Since the announcement, Joe has been hard at work doing typical politician things like taking advantage of photo opportunities. For example, here's a pic with a homeless veteran he met in Ohio:
Well, that guy's going to have one hell of a story to tell his pals at the homeless shelter. I wonder if he got a tiger cub out of the deal? That would get him off the streets.
Joe has also been busy attacking his opponents:
Yep, he's taking on Donald Trump. I don't like this move because it lowers the chances that Joe becomes Donald's running mate.
Joe's also addressing the issues that matter to voters:
And telling off people at his zoo...
I agree with Joe on one thing. Screw the people who have never seen a tiger in real life... inside a small cage... at a zoo in Oklahoma! They suck. Also, it's nice to see Joe going after the social media troll fuckers. I just really hope he's not talking about us.
While all this was going on, Joe also found a way to accidentally hallucinate on medicine:
Hmmn. I may need to try this medicine.
Anyway, check out Joe's thoughts on the issues, tigers and who knows what else by visiting one of his many Facebook pages. Expect his name to start showing up in the polls soon. If people will take a billionaire narcissist like Trump seriously, why not the narcissist who owns a tiger zoo?
Also, be sure to order one of these. It will be a collector's item someday:
