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Government employees weren’t the only Oklahomans who wanted to have an affair…

10:41 AM EDT on August 21, 2015

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Yesterday, we informed you that a few city and state employees used their work email addresses to sign up for Ashley Madison. We told you this because the local media was all over it. I thought focusing the attention only on civic employees seemed unfair.

I understand why this is a big story. It’s interesting, juicy, and kind of funny, but why are we only focusing on government employees? Are they held to a higher moral standard than the people who have better jobs and make more money in the private sector? Why are they the ones being shamed?

And please don’t give me the whole “But they’re wasting taxpayer time and money” bullshit, Person Who’s Reading This Post In Your Cubicle While You Should Be Emailing TPS Reports To Your Boss. Who cares what email address they used? It’s not like taxpayers are charged per the email. If anything, we should give these bright government employees raises and promotions for having the smarts to use an email address their spouse can’t access.

What I really want to know is who in the local media signed up for this service! Let’s judge the ones leading the judging!

Well, apparently some Ogle Moles agreed with me! Yesterday, they scoured and searched through the Ashley Madison files for email addresses tied to local media domains.

Here's what we found:

The Oklahoman: 2
KFOR Channel 4: 2
KOCO Channel 5: 0
KWTV Channel 9: 1
KOKH Channel 25: 0

Okay, so only five people who work in the local media (allegedly) used their work email address to access Ashley Madison. That's not too bad. I only recognized one name on the list. It was from a former News 9 employee, and let me tell you, it was shocking. I mean like jaw dropping, LOL, no-fucking-way shocking. It would be the last person you'd think would be looking to have an affair on Ashley Madison. And no, it wasn't Gary England.

I'm not going to name the individual because A) Ashley Madison doesn't verify email addresses and B) I'm not that big of an asshole, but still, I couldn't believe it.

Also, I've heard that a KOCO Channel 5 anchor's personal email address comes up on the list. I won't name that person either, but seeing his name on the list was about as shocking as seeing Sweet Brown drink a cold pop.

In addition to local media stuff, I had one Mole (we'll give him a cool hacker name like Dark Shadow) search through the records for email address with local energy company domains.

Here's what Dark Shadow found:

Chesapeake: 11
Continental Resources: 2
Devon: 11
Sandridge: 1

Sadly, Aubrey McClendon, Larry Nichols and Uncle Hammy didn't show up, but I cross referenced some of the email addresses on Facebook and they appear to be real people. They better get their excuses down fast:

"Albro, did you use your work email to sign up for Ashley Madison?"

"No, sir. It wasn't me. It was, uhm, a prank by the scientists and activists who believe in global warming!"

"That makes sense. Get some talking points put together so we know how to discuss this."

For fun, I also had Dark Shadow search for a couple of domains for local companies we like to write about from time to time:

Braum's: 1
Hobby Lobby: 1
OG&E: 4
Tate Publishing: 0

Yeah, I can't believe Tate Publishing didn't have one email in the dump. You would think Ryan Tate would have an account or two for strictly "research purposes" and to see "if any employees were on the site." As we know, he doesn't need to go to Ashley Madison to have an affair. That's what employee cruises are probably / maybe / allegedly for.

Anyway, I guess that's it for our hardcore investigative report. I can't wait for the local media to pick up on it and do their own investigation. Yeah right.

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