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Gary England is your Ogle Madness VIII Champion…

7:45 AM EDT on April 9, 2015

They said he was too old. They said he was past his prime. They said he re-tweeted way too many people complimenting him on Twitter. But in the end Gary had the last laugh. He's your Ogle Madness VIII Champion!

Earlier this week, his holiness defeated Russell Westbrook by the razor-thin margin of 495 votes to 471 votes (51%-49%). The two percentage point spread is the second-closest in Ogle Madness history. Way back in Ogle Madness I, Lauren Richardson, whoever that is, beat Amy McRee by just two votes.

Our sideline reporter Cardboard Jim Traber got Lord England's reaction after the matchup: "Jump back! This one goes out to Rip, Tootie, and Loretta back in Seiling!" he said. "And man-made climate change doesn't exist."

Here's the path Lord England took to secure his first title...

Kern, Sally

Round One: Defeated Sally Kern 431-53

The first round demolition of noxious bigot Sally Kern was so overwhelming, it actually broke our poll counter:

ogle poll

Round two: Defeated The Blue House 395-178

The Blue House never stood a chance against Lord Gary. The House was a funny story, but all sizzle and no substance; definitely a flash in the pan. I'm not even sure it has a tornado safe room! If Gary England wanted to, we all know he could have just smited that house out of existence whenever he felt like it.

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MARIJUANA

Sweet 16: Defeated Marijuana 312-205

This one definitely could have been a tricky game for Gary. If there's two things TLO readers love, one of them is Gary England and the other is browsing the internet while high. But the stoner vote wasn't strong enough, and Gary England's march to the championship continued.

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emily sutton

Elite Eight: Defeated Emily Sutton 423-350

I should probably be ashamed to admit this, but this is where I thought Gary England's run would end. While he's been an Oklahoma legend since his virgin birth from the winds of the mighty Seiling tornado, Emily Sutton's meteoric rise to, well, meteorology fame, has been rapid, and thanks in at least some part to this website and it's readers. But not even the Weather Diva herself could stop the England train; she wouldn't even end up with 40% of the vote against him.

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olivia munn costume 6

Final Four: Defeated Olivia Munn 497-331

Olivia Munn stood no shot. She's kind of like the Gonzaga of Ogle Madness. Everyone likes her well enough and she's always good for a pretty decent run in the tournament, but when it comes down to it, she's never going to win the whole thing. Gary sent her back into the arms of Aaron Rodges easily.

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Oklahoma City Thunder v San Antonio Spurs - Game Five

Championship Game: Defeated Russell Westbrook 495-471

This may go down in history as the greatest Ogle Madness game of all time. Russell Westbrook is as hot as any celebrity in this state right now, but even the insane level he's playing at on the basketball court right now is not enough for him to beat Gary England. He probably shouldn't have let Scotty Brooks coach him in Ogle Madness either.

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That's it for this year! Congrats once again to Gary The TV Weatherman. Hopefully this means it will be a calm tornado season. Here's a One Shining Moment from Ogle Madness III. It has Gary England and a bunch of other regulars in it, so it should still work...

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