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Ogle Madness VIII: Sweet Sixteen, Southeast and West Regions

5:55 AM EDT on March 26, 2015

And we're almost to the Elite Eight! We have some great games today, including two double-digit seeds who have made runs deep in the tourney. Playboy Joe Dorman barely nudged out Mayor Mick to advance to the Sweet Sixteen, and Red Dog Cafe Chef continued his Cinderella run by demolishing Regular Jim Traber.

Here are today's games:

Southeast Region

(1) Joleen Chaney vs (5) Marla Morgan
(6) Lake Hefner Goats vs (15) Red Dog Cafe Chef

West Region

(1) Lacey Swope vs (4) Steven Adams
(2) Russell Westbrook vs (11) Joe Dorman

Southeast Region

(1) Joleen Chaney vs (5) Marla Morgan

joleen chaney cold

(1) Joleen Chaney

Round 1: Defeated Discriminated White Girl from Ada
Round 2: Defeated the Dry Slot

Who she is: Two-time Ogle Madness runner-up

Strengths: Sneaking her way into viral news stories about people who either smell fire or live on a school bus.

Weaknesses: Does anyone else feel like she's kinda kept a low profile lately? News 9 needs to put her on the anchor desk.

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(5) Marla Morgan

Who she is: Wife of Channel 4 tie model Mike Morgan

Round 1: Defeated Emily Sutton's Fiance
Round 2: Defeated Hipster Boo Boo

Strengths: Knows how to have a good time

Weaknesses: Has to put up with her husband emailing weird websites all the time.

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(6) Lake Hefner Goats vs (15) Red Dog Cafe Chef

goats eating grass

(6) Lake Hefner Goats

Round 1: Defeated Lake Hefner Frackers
Round 2: Defeated Bob Stoops

Who they are: Oklahoma City's most modern lawnmowers

Strengths: Saves on gas.

Weaknesses: Have you ever met a goat? Those sons of bitches are mean as hell. Zero social skills.

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IMG_4335

(15) Red Dog Cafe Chef

Round 1: Defeated Blake Shelton
Round 2: Defeated Regular Jim Traber

Who he is: The genius behind one of the best burgers in Oklahoma City

Strengths: Satisfying Louis Fowler

Weaknesses: Keeping frozen shrimp in stock

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West Region

(1) Lacey Swope vs (4) Steven Adams

lacey swope big

(1) Lacey Swope

Round 1: Defeated Emily Sutton's Okie
Round 2: Defeated Abigail Ogle

Who she is: The defending Ogle Madness champion

Strengths: Killing animals

Weaknesses: It's always harder to win the second time around

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steven adams

(4) Steven Adams

Round 1: Defeated Bethany
Round 2: Defeated Oklahoma Hoodie Wearer

Who he is: Funny interview-giver and surprisingly good basketball player

Strengths: Those Kiwi good looks

Weaknesses: His hands. Catch the ball, Steven!

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(2) Russell Westbrook vs (11) Joe Dorman

russell westbrook abs

(2) Russell Westbrook

Round 1: Defeated Yellow Lamborghini Driver
Round 2: Defeated Linda Cavanaugh

Who he is: The most valuable player in the NBA.

Strengths: So undeniably good now that even crusty old white men can't deny it.

Weaknesses: It just feels like he's going to hurt himself again at any moment.

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(11) Joe Dorman

Round 1: Defeated Mary Fallin's Gold Bust
Round 2: Defeated Mayor Mick

Who he is: The guy who got smoked by Mary Fallin in November.

Strengths: Uses the pick-up line "Ever seen the top of a bald man's head?" Sometimes it even works.

Weaknesses: Decided to wait until he was out of office and had already lost his governor's race to start actually fighting for things, just like all weaksauce Democrats.

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