Ogle Madness Sweet Sixteen is upon us! The second round had a lot of hard-fought battles, including one incredibly close barnburner that saw Mike Gundy eeking out a victory over David Payne by two votes, 281-279. Look for an extended Ogle Madness Supreme Court battle about the validity of some of those hanging chads. Also, why do they call it a barnburner?
The Sweet Sixteen is where the wheat has really been separated from the chaff. Here are today's games:
Midwest Region
(1) Emily Sutton vs (4) Mike Gundy
(2) Gary England vs (6) Marijuana
Northeast Region
(1) Kevin Durant vs (4) Sir John Michael
(2) Garth Brooks vs (3) Olivia Munn
Midwest Region
(1) Emily Sutton vs(4) Mike Gundy
(1) Emily Sutton
Round 1: Defeated Scott from Scott's Motor Cars
Round 2: Defeated 107.7 The Franchise
Who she is: You know who she is, don't you? Of course you do, creepy internet guy.
Strengths: Still being able to get ridiculously excited about our daily earthquakes.
Weaknesses: Bladder control.
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(4) Mike Gundy
(4) Mike Gundy
Round 1: Defeated Scott Pruitt
Round 2: Defeated David Payne
Who he is: 47 (!) year old man
Strengths: Hates Jim Traber
Weaknesses:
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(2) Gary England vs (6) Marijuana
(2) Gary England
Round 1: Defeated Sally Kern
Round 2: Defeated The Blue House
Who He is: Weather deity.
Strengths: Too many to list.
Weaknesses: Somehow has never won Ogle Madness. You have all failed him.
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(6) Marijuana
Round 1: Defeated Josh Cockroft
Round 2: Defeated The Ogle Brothers
What it is: Excellent medicinal product, or the cause of most of society's problems, depending on who you ask. Either way, a helluva good time.
Strengths: Do you ever think about, like, just how huge the universe is? You know what I mean, man? Do you ever just stop to marvel at that?
Weaknesses: Drives prohibitionists to say ridiculously silly things like this.
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Northeast Region
(1) Kevin Durant vs (4) Sir John Michael
(1) Kevin Durant
Round 1: Defeated the KFOR Social Media Bandit
Round 2: Defeated Lawton Rappers
Who he is: Badass basketball playing man.
Strengths: So good, he makes OU fans forget he played at Texas.
Weaknesses: The Thunder's training staff
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(4) Sir John Michael
Round 1: Defeated The Judicial Branch
Round 2: Defeated Jack White's Guacamole
Who he is: King of the school bus.
Strengths: "If life gives you lemons, fuck life" is my new TM mantra.
Weaknesses: Does he have staying power? When was the last time you heard from Sweet Brown?
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(2) Garth Brooks vs (3) Olivia Munn
(2) Garth Brooks
Round 1: Defeated Chris Landsberger
Round 2: Defeated Katy Weaver
Who he is: The best selling American music artist in the history of the world.
Strengths: Sold out approximately 914 Tulsa shows in a row earlier this year.
Weaknesses: Remember when he went to Spring Training to play with the San Diego Padres? Man, that was weird.
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(3) Olivia Munn
Round 1: Defeated the OKC Magic Club
Round 2: Defeated Miss State Fair
Who she is: The actress with even more creepy internet stalkers than Felicia Day.
Strengths: She bagged a better QB than Gisele did...
Weaknesses: Ludicrously defended Aaron Sorkin's idiotic Mens's Rights rape storyline on The Newsroom.
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