Welcome to the final Second Round games! Did you vote in this morning's regional? If not, be sure to do it here. The afternoon matchups feature two Thunder players, two politicians, and three local newswomen. Somewhere, Jessica Shambach is weeping that she didn't make the field.
(1) Lacey Swope vs (9) Abigail Ogle
(4) Steven Adams vs (5) Oklahoma Hoodie Wearer
(3) Mayor Mick vs (11) Joe Dorman
(2) Russell Westbrook vs (7) Linda Cavanaugh
Vote below! The Sweet 16 begins tomorrow...
(1) Lacey Swope vs (9) Abigail Ogle
Lacey Swope
Round 1: Defeated Emily Sutton's Okie
Who she is: The defending Ogle Madness champion
Strengths: Killing animals
Weaknesses: It's always harder to win the second time around
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(9) Abigail Ogle
Round 1: Defeated Dean Blevins
Who she is: Future ruler of this town
Strengths: Her last name
Weaknesses: Her Facebook fans are real jackasses
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(4) Steven Adams vs (5) Oklahoma Hoodie Wearer
(4) Steven Adams
Round 1: Defeated Bethany
Who he is: Funny interview-giver and surprisingly good basketball player
Strengths: Those Kiwi good looks
Weaknesses: His hands. Catch the ball, Steven!
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(5) Oklahoma Hoodie Wearer
Who they are: Hoodie-loving people of Oklahoma
Strengths: Comfort and warmth on a crisp fall day
Weaknesses: Our moronic legislators might try to make them illegal again
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(3) Mayor Mick vs (11) Joe Dorman
(3) Mayor Mick
Round 1: Defeated Derpy Dan Fisher
Who he is: The Mayor of a Big League City in the midwest plains.
Strengths: Managed to go on Meet The Press and brag about Oklahoma City without having to answer a single mild question about our schools.
Weaknesses: Probably isn't actually a pot-smoking mayor.
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(11) Joe Dorman
Round 1: Defeated Mary Fallin's Gold Bust
Who he is: The guy who got smoked by Mary Fallin in November.
Strengths: Uses the pick-up line "Ever seen the top of a bald man's head?" Sometimes it even works.
Weaknesses: Decided to wait until he was out of office and had already lost his governor's race to start actually fighting for things, just like all weaksauce Democrats.
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(2) Russell Westbrook vs (7) Linda Cavanaugh
(2) Russell Westbrook
Round 1: Defeated Yellow Lamborghini Driver
Who he is: The most valuable player in the NBA.
Strengths: So undeniably good now that even crusty old white men can't deny it.
Weaknesses: It just feels like he's going to hurt himself again at any moment.
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(7) Linda Cavanaugh
Round 1: Defeated Jenni Carlson
Who she is: Legendary newslady.
Strengths: Just keeps plugging along and outlasting all the others who want her job.
Weaknesses: The sort of person who tweets stuff like this into your feed:
