After two days, we're halfway done with the first round of Ogle Madness VIII. Here's your daily reminder that you can find the whole bracket here.
The upper half of the Southeast region features some incredibly difficult matchups, including a brutal 4 vs 13 (Q: how high was the committee when they decided to make Christina Fallin a 4 seed?) and a 5 vs 12 matchup featuring the significant others of two Channel 4 meteorologists (kinda says it all about this state, huh?).
(1) Joleen Chaney vs (16) Discriminated White Girl from Ada
(8) Jim Gardner vs (9) The Dry Slot
(4) Hipster Boo Boo vs (13) Aaron Tuttle
(5) Marla Morgan vs (12) Michael (Emily Sutton's fiance)
(1) Joleen Chaney vs (16) Discriminated White Girl from Ada
(1) Joleen Chaney
Who she is: Two-time Ogle Madness runner-up
Strengths: Sneaking her way into viral news stories about people who either smell fire or live on a school bus.
Weaknesses: Does anyone else feel like she's kinda kept a low profile lately? News 9 needs to put her on the anchor desk.
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Discriminated White Girl From Ada
Who she is: South Central Oklahoma's pre-eminent online defender of white people
Strengths: Actually has lots of allies in this state.
Weaknesses: "As a white female from Oklahoma, summer is actually one of my least favorite seasons because I’m white... Almost every day I get made fun of about how white I am & people even say things like “if you were tanner you would be prettier” or “if you would tan your white legs would be so distracting”.
:( :( :(
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(8) Jim Gardner vs (9) The Dry Slot
(8) Jim Gardner
Who he is: Hot-dogging Channel 9 helicopter pilot
Strengths: He does what he wants, like use his helicopter to race against airplanes.
Weaknesses: The killjoys at Channel 9 suspended him for it
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(9) The Dry Slot
What it is: The reason those winter storms never turn out like they predict
Strengths: Invisibility? Why can't the all our trusted meteorologists ever see them coming?
Weaknesses: The number of double-entendres we have to hear every time they talk about them.
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(4) Hipster Boo Boo vs (13) Aaron Tuttle
(4) Hipster Boo Boo
Who she is: According to her Wikipedia page that she totally didn't edit herself, she's a "consultant, musician and artist," but she seems like your typical garden-variety wannabe socialite to us.
Strengths: Got us to actually side with Mary Fallin for once.
Weaknesses: Has just as much self-awareness as you would expect from a privileged daughter of a longtime politician.
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Aaron Tuttle
Who he is: Facebook weatherman, bodybuilder and big fan of The Lost Ogle.
Strengths: Limitless delusion.
Weaknesses: Not great at historical analogies.
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(5) Marla Morgan vs (12) Emily Sutton's Fiance
Marla Morgan
Who she is: Wife of Channel 4 tie model Mike Morgan
Strengths: Knows how to have a good time
Weaknesses: Has to put up with her husband emailing weird websites all the time
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Michael
Who he is: Mike! Mike! Mike!
Strengths: The smug satisfaction of marrying the man of every young blogger's dreams.
Weaknesses: Has to compete with Emily Sutton's dog and Emily Sutton herself for Ogle Madness glory.
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